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CHRIST OR CHURCH

From the November 1908 issue of The Christian Science Journal


WHEN I first attended a Christian Science church, I was surprised to hear people testify of their gratitude to Christian Science for giving them the Bible. I had been a reader of the Bible from childhood, and found so much in it to delight and to help me, that I felt very sorry for people who had been so long deprived of its beauty and assistance. I supposed then that I understood the Bible; not entirely, of course, but in its essential parts. Some years passed, during which I read the Bible more zealously than ever, and attended regularly the church into which I had been baptized during infancy. I did not attend any Christian Science church, nor read any Christian Science books, or associate with any Christian Scientists, but I read the Bible in the light of the facts I had heard during the few weeks I had attended the meetings at First Church of Christ, Scientist, New York City. I found that I had always slurred over the accounts of the healing, without being conscious of it, and had fixed my thoughts on the mystical sayings—of John and Paul especially—of the New Testament writers, and of the prophet Isaiah. The beauty, perhaps also the undefined meaning, of these passages, had a peculiar fascination for me. Invisible things had always been to me the most interesting. As I write this, I recall a passage regarding Moses which fixed itself in my memory: "He endured, as seeing him who is invisible." I understood this to refer to God. Passages which spoke of immortality had appealed to me strongly; and those sayings of Christ Jesus which deal with death and immortality were continually drawing my thought deeper and deeper into "the hidden things of God."

As I read the Bible, after attending some Christian Science meetings, these things appealed to me no less than before, but the things said about healing began to loom up like mountains before a traveler whose journey has heretofore been on the plains. I read the first three Gospels carefully and noted all the verses that were devoted to healing or other so-called miracles, and all that were devoted to other subjects. I found the Gospel of Mark fuller of healing than any of the others, one third of this book being entirely devoted to this subject, and two fifths of it to healing and other miracles. Here was clear evidence that an eye-witness and, as I had been taught, an inspired writer had devoted to the subject of healing one third of the space he had consumed while writing about the most important person and events in the history of mankind. And I, who had been ignoring that portion of his life of Christ Jesus, had considered myself as possessing the Scriptures ! As I went deeper into the sacred pages, with a mind awakened to the importance attached to healing by the chief persons whose lives gave them a place in the Scripture records, the fact that healing in Christ's name is now being done began to stand out as the paramount fact of contemporary history. I had heard this fact testified to, and as I listened I had no way of escape from the conviction that the people were telling the truth. Being a lawyer, I had had some experience in weighing evidence, in rejecting false testimony and accepting the true. In the six weeks of attendance at Christian Science meetings I had become convinced that the Christ-healing was again occurring in our midst, beyond any reasonable doubt. During this time I said to a friend who was troubled about these things, " 'Seek, and ye shall find,' is the promise. We will both seek, and we shall both find the truth."

My friend went on into Christian Science, but I continued in my former faith. It was constantly more apparent, in the period that followed, that my church gave no more attention to those parts of the Bible which I had neglected, than I myself had done. Still, I did not see why I could not find the truth by seeking in this way; and I did find this fact, namely, that the very best of the ministers of my church did not claim to know as much about Christ, or to work as nearly like the Master, as the humblest Christian Scientists, occupying positions of comparative unimportance in the various ordinary callings. Finally the day came when the accumulating evidence left me no way of escape. I had to choose between Christ and Church, between Christian Science and so-called orthodoxy, between Truth in its own garments and error wearing garments it believes to be both Christian and apostolic. I passed Christmas, 1902, without making my election, but I could not pass New Year. Strangely enough, a now noted bishop helped me to abandon my long-time communion for Christian Science. He preached a sermon, after reading a chapter from the Gospels: a beautiful sermon it was, but one which absolutely ignored the vital word of the chapter he had read. A friend with whom I had attended service that day was delighted with the sermon. Had I never listened to a Christian Science service I, too, would have been pleased. Time and time again I had had a similar experience; but this was the last straw, and I saw that I would never find in the Church the truth which is peculiarly Christian, because neither the Church nor its very foremost men understand this truth. The reverend gentleman above referred to was even then recognized as a leading light, and his subsequent elevation to the bishopric established the fact.

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