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My childhood was ever under the cloud of fear, the dread...

From the May 1901 issue of The Christian Science Journal


My childhood was ever under the cloud of fear, the dread of breaking physical and theological laws, and as I grew older these fears increased and I became more and more enslaved. Truly "fear hath torment." Being early taught the doctrine of everlasting punishment, I was in constant fear of death, hell, and the judgment. I often read those portions of the Bible that pertain to the end of the world and judgment, as I was then taught. Any peculiar or uncommon appearance in the sky would fill me with great terror, thinking it a sign of the end of time. I soon became delicate in health, and this delicacy increased as I grew older. Then I became a slave to another master, medicine and medical beliefs. I was like a leaf on the surface of a stream, drifting with every wind (of belief) and never arriving at the shore. My physical conditions grew worse.

After my marriage the many beliefs and fears that had been held over me from childhood seemed to culminate in an error greater than all,—St. Vitus's dance. Here I was brought to a place where every old tried remedy failed, and the verdict was—incurable.

For three years I suffered from this trouble. I earnestly prayed for deliverance, but found none. From my earliest childhood I had lived up to what my highest sense of a Christian was. In an unexpected moment deliverance came and I was free. The Christ-Truth (Christian Science) dawned on my consciousness, and in one treatment I was healed. Then in my joy of freedom I began to get a glimpse of this new and living Way. I took up my neglected household work with a strength, a sense of life I had never known before. My healing was twelve years ago, and never again has there been the slightest return of the old trouble.

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