A healing of the heart

Dear Journal,

My name is Victor. I have been studying Christian Science for almost two years now. I am not a very good writer, but I feel compelled to share my healing with all my Christian Science brothers and sisters.

I grew up in an Islamic home. My father is a Shiite Muslim, and I was raised to pray five times a day, as well as to study about Mohammed and his laws. My mother is Hispanic, and, after she left my father when I was nine, she raised me as a Catholic.

However, as I grew into my teen years, I dropped all religion. I had too many questions about too many topics, and no one seemed to be able to help me find answers to them. I was confused about who Jesus really was. And I had questions about myself and my spiritual identity—who I was in the eyes of our Creator. Did God actually look at me as His child?

In 2007 my life changed forever, and I began serving time in a Texas prison on a manslaughter charge.

That is where I found Christian Science early last year. At the time, I was living in a faith-based wing of my unit, but I was not able to find comfort in the usual Christian services held there, and I was avoiding my fellow Christian brothers because I had stopped going to services.

But one day a young man named Juan happened to be behind me in the lunch line and began to talk to me about Christian Science. Truth be told, I immediately thought, “What is this guy, loony?” But Juan kept talking in the long chow line, and we ended up sitting at the same lunch table. All of a sudden, he started making sense. He talked about the fact that everyone was made in God’s image and likeness, and about seeing the qualities of God, which Jesus expressed, in everyone. He also talked about rejecting evil thoughts—any thoughts that were not God-like, even the thought that we can have pain and disease. It all sounded interesting, to say the least, so I went to a Christian Science service in the prison the same day. The services are on Tuesdays, and it just so happened to be a Tuesday.

Through Christian Science I found my purpose and place with God, and my spiritual identity as God’s child.

At the service I felt that I’d found what I had always been searching for, and I met a man who helped change my life. He went out of his way to help me find the answers I had been seeking all of my life. I later learned that he is a Christian Science practitioner and prison chaplain. He gave me Science and Health [Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy], and I read it almost all night. It was a very difficult book for me to understand, but I would read and reread the understandings of Mary Baker Eddy with my dictionary and would try to make sense of her writings. Mary Baker Eddy wrote so deeply, with such great understanding of the Bible. I was in awe of her findings.

There is another man who comes to the prison, and he was a lifelong firefighter before he retired. He told us about his healings as a child. He has been a Christian Scientist all of his life and gave me great insight on his views in the Christian Science religion and on life itself.

So what is my healing, exactly? I imagine that you are waiting to hear that I was healed of a broken bone, AIDS, SARS, or cancer, but I found even greater healing through Christian
Science: I found a healing of my heart. I found a peace I had not felt in over ten years. I found my purpose and place with God, and my spiritual identity as God’s child. I found a way to forgive the men and women in my life who I felt had done me wrong. I found a way to forgive myself, for failing my wife, and for not being there for my children as they grow up—and not to hate myself every single day in this place.

Through Christian Science I found something to talk to my children about—a way for me to speak about the Lord to my children for the first time, and to help them grow in Christ. I found out about the synonyms for God—Life, Spirit, Soul, Mind, Principle, Truth, and Love—and I learned that we all reflect God’s qualities as His children. I encourage my children to see these qualities in their classmates in primary school (second and third grade) and to forgive others because God has forgiven them.

I found myself through Christian Science, with the help of Don and Jon [the Christian Science prison chaplain and volunteer]. I am now able to view myself and the world through “spiritual” eyes—through God’s eyes—because I am more conscious of being at one with God, divine Mind.

I hope this letter will help someone else, somewhere, find themselves through Christian Science, find forgiveness in their hearts, and know that all men are God’s children and walk in His love.

Simple seeker for Truth—

Victor