No doubt of God’s love

I had a very encouraging experience some years ago that I’d like to share.

A substantial bill of several thousand dollars was due in a couple of months, and I had no money in the bank. I had a freelance project that would take longer than a few months to finish and commitments to serve my branch Church of Christ, Scientist, so it wasn’t an option to take on additional work to earn more income, even if I could find work that would pay that much. The bill loomed large, and I felt hopeless.

I turned in prayer to God, to the truths of His promises in the Bible as illuminated by Christian Science. Christ Jesus’ words encouraged me not to worry: “Your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him” (Matthew 6:8), and, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33). These ideas were explained wonderfully in an article called “Angels” by Mary Baker Eddy. It said: “God gives you His spiritual ideas, and in turn, they give you daily supplies. Never ask for to-morrow: it is enough that divine Love is an ever-present help; and if you wait, never doubting, you will have all you need every moment” (Miscellaneous Writings 1883–1896, p. 307).

How wonderful to know that divine Love was my ever-present help! I studied the passage and asked myself, “OK, what’s my job here?” Then I reasoned, “One, to wait.” I knew that waiting didn’t mean standing around tapping my foot. It meant to continue to wait on God, good—to serve Him, to patiently listen for and obey His guidance.

How wonderful to know that divine Love was my ever-present help!

The second point was to never doubt that my need would be met. I had to check the balance in my thought, not in my bank account. Did the fact of God’s ever-present love have more weight in my thought than the suggestion of lack? Did I take the spiritual truths I was reading in the Bible and Mrs. Eddy’s writings more seriously than fears based on material assumptions? Did I have more faith in my Father-Mother’s infinite supply than in the human appearance of lack? Jesus said to seek first the kingdom of God, and to me this meant I could seek and find, in God’s infinite care, a never-doubting peace. God didn’t doubt His care for me—I was the loved spiritual expression of His own being!

I did this kind of thought-check every morning and whenever concern about the bill would crop up. I’d ask myself: “Are you doubting? Are you doubting that divine Love meets all needs? Are you doubting God’s love for you and everyone?” Daily study of the weekly Christian Science Bible Lesson was a big help. I read passages that showed God’s clear authority over all His creation; the wonder of God’s love, meeting all needs; and other spiritual truths. I pondered them until I could honestly say, “Nope. Not doubting.”

I felt at peace and grateful, but the deadline for the payment grew nearer and nearer, with no change in my bank account. Even when there was only one day left, I was so certain of God’s care for His children that I had only gratitude in my heart.

When the day the bill was due came, I was filled with such anticipation, knowing the need would be met, that I actually said aloud: “Father, thank you so much! I love You.”

Later that morning, the doorbell rang and a delivery person handed me a next-day delivery envelope. Inside were two checks from the large publisher I was working for. The total was the exact amount I owed that day. The payment was for a project I’d completed months before, but I had no recollection of being owed that sum, and I had never before (and have never since) received payment by next-day delivery. So I called the publisher and asked if there wasn’t a mistake. The woman assured me it was no mistake and encouraged me to cash the checks immediately. As icing on the cake, when the regular mail came later that day, it included an unexpected insurance refund, so my bank account was no longer empty, even after paying the bill.

More lessons of God’s care followed. Soon after this experience, the freelance work slowed to a trickle and then stopped. I trudged to yet another job fair and heard myself complaining about people and circumstances that I felt had thwarted my professional progress.

I was so certain of God’s care for His children that I had only gratitude in my heart.

But then I woke up. I realized: “When was God less than All? When was God not loving all? Never!” I went home immediately and rebuked the suggestion that God could ever not be caring for His children. As I opened my thought completely to God’s love, tremendous gratitude replaced every complaint—and I acted on it, specifically thanking individuals who had helped and supported me in my career. Soon afterwards, a wonderful project came my way that more than met my family’s financial needs and enabled me to move on to a work opportunity that proved a great blessing.

We can rely on God’s promises of infinite love and care. Divine Love is always present, always loving. We can wake to this loving presence and palpably feel God’s care. No doubt about it.