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MEMORY LOSS—HEALED

From the January 2009 issue of The Christian Science Journal

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I'M LOSING MY MIND, I thought. About five years ago, it became difficult to remember anything. Thoughts would come and go, but nothing stayed. I constantly drew a blank. Old familiar Bible stories, names of loved ones, the combination to my bike lock, and remembering what I was doing moment by moment, all seemed to be lost on me.

Regaining clarity began with a simple prayer: Remind me, Father. Not, Help me to remember, but, Remind me. Remind me of your presence. Let it fill my consciousness and remove any sense of fear or disease. I am always and only in a state of conscious awareness of You and of every idea that You—Mind—include.

At other times my heart would simply say, Thank you, Lord. Thank you for knowing what I need to know, thank you for supplying me with your ideas and knowledge. Thank you for caring for me, remembering that I am your child and that I'm not alone.

The Bible verse, "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 2:5), became my constant companion. I'd pray, Father, let that mind be in me, which was also in Christ Jesus. I knew that this Mind, being divine, includes such qualities as mental sharpness, perception, and recall. The admission that I was inseparable from the intelligence, understanding, and wisdom of my Creator delivered me from the false belief that my thoughts could be separated from their source or that I had a mind apart from God that could be forgetful or diseased.

Amid the confusion and fear of losing my mind, I began to gain a measure of tranquility as I became more conscious of my inseparability from God. Realizing this unity with God relieved me of stress and panic, as well as encouraged me and brought me great peace of mind. Feeling the presence of divine Mind became more important to me than knowing any one thought or doing any one task. Acknowledging God's presence each moment became a natural way of thinking. At every opportunity I affirmed that I was sustained by God. This enabled me to remember whatever I needed to each moment. Surprisingly, information I didn't even know I knew began to surface in my thought. I was able to make certain decisions quickly, and solutions to problems appeared naturally. I stood firm in my prayers that I express full mental capacity every moment, and I found that I had the courage to accept nothing less.

Becoming and staying conscious of God's presence is an awesome experience. I more fully understood that the Word of God is always speaking to me in a way that I can understand. It supersedes and corrects any human opinions or fears that might influence us. Romans 12:2 says, "Be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." And this renewing of our mind is ongoing.

For me, this renewal meant the full restoration or normalization of mental action. I affirmed consistently that because I am the expression of Mind, there can be no absence of my fully functioning mind, nor can any other mind come between me and God. This truth dispelled the suggestion that something was wrong with me and that I didn't know or couldn't remember something. The words, "Reclothe us in our rightful mind," from a poem by John Greenleaf Whittier, was something that I sang with joy (Christian Science Hymnal, No. 50). I let go of what I thought of as my own mind and humbly relied on God's "presence of mind" for every right thought.

The complete healing took persistent prayer, but gradually, after several months, the pressure and fear I had been feeling dissolved. I could remember what I was doing, where the car keys were, or what someone's name was. What joy! Names, dates, places, purposes were all coming back as I relied on infinite Mind to communicate these things.

I am deeply grateful for the great peace and soundness of mind I continue to feel today.


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