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CLINICAL DEPRESSION—HEALED

From the October 2008 issue of The Christian Science Journal


I FIRST HEARD ABOUT

Christian Science from friends some 18 years ago. For years, we often talked about Christian Science. Although I did occasionally sift through Science and Health and some of the Christian Science weekly Bible Lessons, I think the biggest effect all this had on me was that the respect I had for my friends created an openness to Christian Science.

Then about a year and a half ago I was feeling very lost and once again relapsed into depression. I had been diagnosed with clinical depression 14 years earlier by a psychiatrist who informed me that this disease was degenerative, incurable, and often resulted in suicidal tendencies as one grew older. I spent many of those 14 years in therapy and on antidepressant medications. And I experienced relapses whenever I stopped taking the medications—just as the doctor said I would.

When my best friend (a lifelong Christian Scientist) knew I was once again experiencing a relapse, she strongly urged me to sincerely pursue the study of God through regularly reading the Christian Science Bible Lessons and Science and Health, as well as by attending the local Christian Science church. Basically she said I needed to stop procrastinating and walk the talk. That it isn't good enough to talk Christian Science—I needed to get off the alcohol and medication and get on with Christian Science. In other words live it and demonstrate it.

I thank God that someone would so strongly encourage me to turn wholeheartedly to Christian Science. I began immediately to seriously study Science and Health and the weekly Bible Lessons. I stopped taking medications and stopped going to psychiatrist. Then one day after a couple of months—at a very low point, despairing of ever finding my way to God—a mental message that I recognize was the "still small voice" of God (I Kings 19:12) trumpeted very clearly to me: I will be your Guide.

That's when I realized that the feelings of loss and depression that I had experienced for so long had resulted from lifelong feelings of doubt about God's existence. Since I was a little girl I had been searching for God through other religions and philosophies and had not yet found satisfying answers. With that realization and through my continued study and practice of Christian Science, I began to find clarity about God's existence that made perfect sense. In a short time the chronic feelings of loss and depression completely disappeared. Now through my study of Christian Science I no longer swing back and forth between believing in God and doubts about His existence. I no longer doubt that God is. I know.

While I'm very grateful for the healing of depression and many other healings since, I consider this healing of a lifetime of doubt as the most important healing I've experienced through Christian Science.


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