I have been the recipient of such manifest blessings through my understanding of God, as shown me in the teachings of Christian Science, that I have often felt guilty for not doing my share of work through our periodicals. There can be no excuse in the light of right for not doing more and better. I came into Christian Science for the religion. We had a large family of children, and the burden of their future weighed upon me when they were very young. We were living on the Sioux Indian reservation at this time (1885), and as my outside duties were necessarily limited, I had much time for serious thought, and did strive to be a Christian without the aid of the church.
We were as faithful to our sense of right then as we have been since coming into Christian Science, and sought each morning and evening, by reading and prayer, God's help and comfort.
At some time during this period I read of Christian Science, and particularly of Science and Health, in a magazine. I was so taken with the word health that I thought I must have the book, as health was my special boast. I prided myself on its possession, and our children were fine specimens, all due, I believed, to little pills, which I trusted then as I do God now.
As usual, error robbed me of the good thought of getting the book, by the argument that it was a good deal of money to invest in something I knew nothing about, not having heard of it previous to this time, although I had invested largely in medical books, and quantities of medicines, of which I had some knowledge.
I did not hear the words Christian Science again for a year or more, when a near relative called for Christian Science help after all human remedies had failed. While the patient was not healed, the Christianity manifested struck me so forcibly that when I had an opportunity to hear of the teachings of Christian Science I was melted to tears, and felt that Christ had indeed come. I did not question the truth of Christian Science as it was told to me by this Christian sister, but believed everything that she said; and I have never for a moment doubted its teaching. I simply could not have passed through the fire of purification had I not known God as learned through Christian Science.
After tasting the love and joy of the religion, I had to test it as a medicine. Could I make the religion my medicine, and vice versa?
One of my little ones decided for me by insisting upon having Christian Science treatment. It was a test indeed, not that I continued having faith in drugs, but I could not yet see how the child could get well without my doing something; but in a few days all fear was gone, and four children came through measles of the worst form and not a material law followed them.
They had air and sunshine all the time, and everything else they desired that I considered sensible.
Then my remedy had been found for disease, and I have been proving every day since, in some way or other that "God is the same yesterday, to-day, and forever;" "A very present help in trouble." and who at this period does not know trouble?
I find the more I know of God's law the further I am required to step out of sense into soul, and this is my only conscious desire to-day, to know only God and His law of love. In "Miscellaneous Writings," p. 154, is a letter written by Mrs. Eddy to one of the churches. Such choice, helpful expressions of her understanding of God's love! That letter, to me, has been food and drink. Only one who knows God as revealed through the Word could write with authority such a letter.
My family began with me to prove God's power and love, and have never turned to other gods, do their own work, and are often called upon to help me do mine, and we have proved to some extent that contentment and happiness are within, and not dependent upon sense testimony or material conditions. This proof was not gained in a day, but we were gradually forced to seek harmony from within. Christian Science commands us to accept and prove Jesus' teaching: "The kingdom of God is within you."
Brookline, Mass.
