Company was visiting. It was summer, and we went cherry-picking. I started experiencing internal pain but didn’t think much of it because I was enjoying the beautiful day. But that night things got worse, and by the next morning I could barely get out of bed.
I stayed in bed to pray. As I wondered what the problem was, all sorts of dark thoughts tempted me to be afraid. That’s when I decided to call a Christian Science practitioner to pray with me. She shared something that was a light in the darkness: “The power of Christian Science and divine Love is omnipotent. It is indeed adequate to unclasp the hold and to destroy disease, sin, and death” (Mary Baker Eddy, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 412).
I clung to the idea that divine Love, God, was with me and could free me from pain. I knew from many other healings I had experienced in Christian Science that even though this problem seemed very physical, the true nature of it was mental. To me this meant that it was the dark, fearful thoughts I was battling that needed to be overcome. So I prayed, and asked God to awaken me to feel more of divine Love’s presence. And I listened. I knew that God always speaks to me in reassuring ways that help me go forward. I also asked God to help me see myself as my creator had made me and knows me—whole, spiritual, and free.
I kept holding to the idea that divine Love was with me and was all-power. I thanked God for being able to unclasp the hold that fear and pain seemed to have over me. I didn’t know exactly how I was going to be free, but I trusted that Love did, because the nature of Love is to love me, and I would feel this love.
I heard a clear directive to stand up and disagree with the fear. I knew this meant that I could take a stand in thought and not go along with fear. It was a gentle but firm message from divine Love, and I immediately realized that I could obey it. As I refused to go along with the fear, it started to dissolve. And the pain disappeared. By the end of the morning, I even walked downstairs without any problem. I thought that was the end of it.
However, several months later I again faced internal pain and dark suggestions. During this period there were many fearful thoughts about death swirling around in the world. But I caught a glimpse of the truth that fear didn’t belong to me, although I still needed to see that dark thoughts have no actual power over me or anyone because God, the divine Mind, is not the creator of fear. God gives me and each one of Her ideas constructive, light-filled thoughts that lead out of darkness and into the light of healing. I again called a Christian Science practitioner to pray with me.
I saw clearly that these fearful suggestions came from the carnal mind, a supposed mind opposed to God, as the Bible says (see Romans 8:7). But the true Mind, the only real Mind, is God, and that Mind is divine Spirit, and all good. Dark thoughts insist we are victims—vulnerable to disease. But this is impossible with God, who made each of us and guards and cares for us.
I thought of the earlier angel message from God that had rescued me months before. That message to “stand up” was exactly what I needed at this moment too. I mentally stood up to the fear, and knew that divine Love completely destroys lies about our true identity, because God, Love, is also Truth. I trusted Love and Truth to destroy fear and pain.
Within a short time the fear and pain receded, and I was completely free. I have not had this problem again.
Mary Baker Eddy writes: “Through the word that is spoken unto you, are you made free. Abide in His word, and it shall abide in you; and the healing Christ will again be made manifest in the flesh—understood and glorified” (Miscellaneous Writings 1883–1896, p. 154).
That is what happened to me. I did abide in God’s Word. I stayed with the truth that God gave me the first time I prayed about this, and the truth permanently freed me. I am grateful for the Word of God as expressed in Christ Jesus’ teachings and healings, and throughout the Bible. The teachings of Christian Science help me see how practical and powerful God’s Word is in every aspect of my life.
Alexis Deacon
Portland, Oregon, us
