In 2009, I received a professional fellowship to spend a year in Germany. Though Germany was a country I’d never visited, and I didn’t know German, I was excited about the adventure. But several months into the experience, my chest felt constricted and my heartbeat was irregular. Something was not functioning properly. Indeed, the labels “heartbroken,” “heavy-hearted,” and “faint of heart” seemed applicable. The transition and move had proved difficult, a love relationship was now distant, and I struggled to feel at home.
The physical symptoms terrified me, and I began to doubt Christian Science healing. I was constantly curious about what seemed to be the problem. Should I find a medical doctor? These thoughts were odd, as I’ve always loved relying on Christian Science since my childhood.
During this time, I was hungry for the support of church. So it was natural to attend a Christian Science lecture in Berlin. There I had my first turning point. The truth spoken was so simple. Though my German at that time was just barely conversational (I’d spent the summer language intensive program practicing sophisticated sentences such as “I’d like one kilo of apples, please”), I understood every word. The lecture’s message was simple and accessible, encouraging us to trust ourselves to an all-loving God. “Ich lege mein Leben in Deine Hand”—“I lay my life in Your hand.”
