"Oh Lord, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth" (Isa. 25:1). God has done so much for me through Christian Science that I feel I must praise Him through one of our periodicals in the hope that another who may be suffering from a long-held fear such as I had may be helped as I was.
Before my birth, my father was returning home late one evening, and two men hiding behind the trees on the lawn attempted to get money from him. The attempt failed; but my mother was badly frightened, and I grew up with an intense fear, which had been impressed on me by my mother's experience.
From the time I can first remember, I often awakened screaming with fright because I had dreamed of two men near me. In my dream I would attempt to run away; but after the first trial, I seemed to lose the power of movement, and so I took to screaming. Someone would come upstairs to quiet me, but no one ever told me of a loving God who was protecting me from all harm.
The dream continued through the years with unabated force; and as I grew up the screaming stopped, but a deep moaning took its place. Often I dreaded to go to sleep for fear of a recurrence of the dream. So the years passed until I was well on toward middle age and took up the study of Christian Science. At first it was not easy for me to understand Science, and there were times when I studied eighteen hours a day. Now I know that all of this time I was being healed of many wrong thoughts without being conscious of it.
When I took up the study of Christian Science, I expected to be healed of the nightmares at once, but this did not take place. Jesus said (Matt. 17:21), "This kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting." I learned that I must fast from hatred and resentment if I was ever really to understand Christian Science. Also I learned that only God outlines and that I had to trust Him for all changes of character. Mrs. Eddy writes (Science and Health, p.63): "In Science man is the offspring of Spirit. The beautiful, good, and pure constitute his ancestry." And farther on in the same paragraph she continues, "Spirit is his primitive and ultimate source of being; God is his Father, and Life is the law of his being." These statements helped me to gain a better sense of God as my Father-mother. This was a great blessing, because both my parents had passed on when I was young.
Gradually wrong thoughts were forced into the background of consciousness, and a great struggle took place to eliminate them altogether. Little by little, as this was accomplished, the dreams grew farther apart, and so I knew that the healing was on the way. One memorable morning I awakened in great fright. For the third night in succession the dream had come to me. Strong declarations of God's love and protection were immediately made as usual, but to no avail.
Then these questions and answers began to run through my consciousness:
"What are you afraid of?"
"I'm afraid of those men."
"What do you think they will do?"
"I am afraid they will hurt me."
"How can they hurt you when they are
only dreams?"
"I do not know, but I am afraid of
them."
"Who gave them the power to hurt you?"
This question gripped my thought for a moment, and then I answered, "I did."
"Then what are you afraid of?"
"My own beliefs."
Instantly the error was uncovered as I saw that the dream could have no power but that which I gave it. At that instant I was healed of the dream, and I knew it. Christian Science had shown me that a dream has no power and that Love, God, can cast it out forever. The Christ had come into my consciousness with its healing power, and nothing, not even the belief of heredity, could withstand it. It was a wonderful moment as I realized that the past torment was swept out forever and that the ever-present healing Christ was accepted as never before.
I cannot give thanks enough for this marvelous healing which brought a purer trust in God than I had ever known before. The flawlessness of God, Mind, further unfolded to my thought, and I felt great gratitude to our loving Leader, Mrs. Eddy, who for the sake of humanity went through more than any of us will ever be able to comprehend.
I am grateful to the practitioners who have helped me along the way and for The Mother Church, which to me is the symbol of the Church Universal and Triumphant. Christian Science is the healing power of the Christ again expressed on earth, the power by which Jesus proved the universal law of God.— Concord, New Hampshire.
