When I was a child and a teenager, I struggled a lot to figure out who I was and where I fit in. I looked at the other kids at school and tried to copy them, the clothes they wore and the music they listened to, but that didn’t help me find myself. Looking back now, I can see that I was looking for a sense of identity.
My parents and grandparents had a strong sense of belonging to their Jewish culture, but, for whatever reasons, I didn’t develop that same feeling. I didn’t really receive any religious education, so I didn’t learn much about Jewish theology. What I did know was that my family members felt very strongly about maintaining their Jewish identity. So I picked up the notion that being interested in anything other than my parents’ religion was definitely not an option for me.
Then, as an adult, I started having some pretty big challenges, including health problems, fears, and eventually a major burnout. Since I wasn’t finding healing through conventional medicine and therapy, I felt attracted to exploring different worldviews and religions. But I was held back by a strong feeling that exploring other religions would be like betraying my family or being a traitor to my Jewish heritage.
