Teacher.— " What do we learn by the translation of the prophet Elisha?" Dull Boy — " That he saved his funeral expenses." Teacher—(severely)—" James! " Dull Boy — " That's wot my pa says; he's an undertaker, he is, and I guess he knows. Pa 'lows he wouldn't like folks to go off that way nowadays."
When a lady living in Chelsea sent to London for a doctor she apologized for asking him to come such a distance. " Don't speak of it," answered the M. D.; " I happened to have another patient in the neighborhood, and can thus kill two birds with one stone."
No man, except he be blind, can pass the window of a drug store without being reminded that there is something the matter with his Liver.— Worcester Evening Gazette.
