I cannot eat but little meat,
By microbes it is spoiled;
And sure I think I cannot drink,
Save water that is boiled;
And I'll endure low temperature,
Since by the doctors told
That to live long and keep us strong
’Tis better to be cold.
So let bacteria scourge and scare,
With ailments manifold,
To do us good we'll eat no food,
And keep our bodies cold.
I love no roast except dry toast,
And that at stated terms;
And little bread I eat, in dread
Of pathogenic germs;
Of milk no whit I take, lest it
Zymotic ills enfold,
And fevers breed; yet most I heed
To keep my body cold.
A keen east wind I never mind,
And fifty Fahrenheit
Is the degree that best suits me,
By day and eke by night;
Thus wise I strive to keep alive,
And haply to grow old,
With beef uncarved, athirst and starved,
And perished with the cold.
So let bacteria scourge and scare,
With ailments manifold,
To do us good we'll eat no food,
And keep our bodies cold.
