In March, 1897, I was very ill with what the physicians said was an internal abscess. I had also suffered for about twelve years with severe hemorrhagic attacks induced by bowel trouble, often having as many as ten or twelve a day. Three minor operations had been submitted to without the use of anesthetics because of weak heart action, with no result except to shatter my nervous system, leaving me worse than before. At this time of discouragement a dear Christian Scientist came to my home, and told me I could be healed. It seemed a tremendous assertion to make, for I knew I was not only physically, but also mentally sick. I was disgusted with life and its disappointments and sorrows. I had lost faith in the God I had been taught to trust. It seemed that when I asked for bread I was given a stone, and when I told this dear one so, she replied by asking for my concept of God.
To my own surprise, I found that I had no definite idea which I could express, so I put it this way: "Jesus said, 'Our Father which art in heaven,' but my own earthly father would not have allowed me to suffer as I have ever since he died, and I guess heaven must be so far away that God cannot hear our prayers; at least He has been deaf and dumb to mine." Then this friend told me of the Christian Science idea of God as ever-present Love, and that heaven was not a place but a state of harmonious consciousness, and that to be in harmony with God we must be loving. I saw that my heart was filled with hate and anger and bitter resentment against God, or man, or fate, —I was not quite sure who was to blame, —and as she talked of God as changeless good, as infinite Love, I saw how unjust I had been in my ignorance. Error was self-seen, and the healing light of Truth and Love pierced the clouds of my darkened sense. The heavy weight of loss and of grief gave place to a prayer of thankfulness that God was not responsible for my woe; that it was self-inflicted and could be self -destroyed. I saw that God is "our Father" still; He is Love, He is good; and in proof thereof I rose from that bed of suffering. The pain was gone, the hemorrhages had ceased, severe headaches, to which I had been subject from childhood, were gone, a failing memory, the result of illness, was restored, and better, far better than all else, I was reconciled to God, through Christ, Truth.
This was enough to convince me that I had touched the hem of the garment of Truth, and I at once procured a copy of the text-book, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mrs. Eddy, and commenced to study as I had never done before. I fairly devoured its pages day and night. I wish to express publicly my gratitude for this "Key to the Scriptures" — which the text-book of Christian Science really is, as its title indicates.
