Two years ago I first heard of Christian Science. I had suffered for eight years with a malignant disease in the face. Although the physician had tried everything, including the electric ray and cauterization, the trouble grew worse from year to year, and finally it was declared by the physicians to be incurable. On account of the disfiguration of my face I was deprived of many pleasures, the result being that I became more and more depressed mentally. I lost all desire to live, till finally a sense of defiance arose in me against my fate, and I tried to get indirectly that which seemed to be refused me. Thus it was that I gradually entered upon a wrong course, one sin involving another; so that people turned from me all the more, until I was almost in despair.
Christian Science thus found me not only sick, but also fettered by sin, and it was this truth which lovingly pointed out to me the infinite compassion of our heavenly Father, which extends even to the worst sinner. After all human resources had proved of no avail, I turned to God, although with little hope of help. I began to read the Bible, Der Herold, and the Christian Science text-book, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures." I read diligently, although I understood but little of what I was reading; I kept on, however, reading the same things over and over again, as I remembered the words of our Saviour, "Seek, and ye shall find;" and I soon saw that the light of Truth which is contained in Jesus' teachings and in Mrs. Eddy's book could be reflected by me only as I was cleansed from all sinful and wrong thoughts. "Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God," says our Saviour. I had to learn to pray to our heavenly Father with a pure heart, with a childlike trust and sincere confidence; to worship Him "in spirit and in truth."
I was deeply ashamed to see the sinful thoughts which dwelt in me. This feeling of shame was followed by earnest repentance, and I began to seek God most earnestly, beseeching Him daily with sincere prayer to give me an understanding of His holy Word. It was long, very long, before this great truth began to dawn upon me, but finally, after long seeking and struggling, the first bright morning beam of divine light broke through the darkness of my soul. Although I had fallen deep into sickness and sin, yet infinite Love had compassion upon me. The Scriptural promise: "Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me," came true in my experience. The Bible and Science and Health became new books to me; what I read was illumined by the light of divine understanding. The belief in the power of sin gave way before the light of Truth, and began to vanish into its native nothingness, making room for divine thoughts. Whereas envy, hate, pride, discord — the works of the flesh— had ruled' formerly, now love, peace, joy, patience, humility, and kindness—the fruits of Spirit are reigning. The understanding of Christ's great charity, which heretofore had seemed unattainable to me, and the peace which he promised to all who would believe in his teachings, drew nigh to my soul.
