I think I feel as Paul must have felt when he said, "The love of God constraineth me;" my desire is so strong to express something of the gratitude I have for the joy, the peace of mind and body which I now possess, but which I did not have about nine years ago. As I look back over this period of time, to the cramped, sensitive, and self-centered person so full of fear and diffident to a pathetic degree, it is difficult to realize that personality as ever having been mine. I had reached a place in my experience, where material, man-made law forbade my going any farther. I was in the care of a physician constantly, but was afraid to leave home for even two or three hours at . a time, fearing that sudden suffering would render me helpless, as I had had this experience several times. My appearance at one time, upon being assisted home, caused a man, a relative of my family, to faint, and he in turn had to receive assistance from strangers. Soon after this I was informed by my physician, after a consultation, that there was positively nothing that could be done which would help me, unless it were an operation, and he could not promise success for that, though he hoped for it.
This is what was confronting me when a friend (not a Christian Scientist), upon hearing this verdict of the doctors, came to tell us that she had a sister who had been healed by Christian Science, and suggested that we at least give it a trial. This we did, and this is the cause of my rejoicing,—the cause of my changed condition. I was helped immediately, but it was some time before I gained sufficient understanding of the eternal facts of being, as taught in Mrs. Eddy's Science and Health, to realize my freedom. The first stage of my gratitude came when I became cognizant of the fact that I was slowly but surely recovering. The second was when I began to see for myself the truth that makes us free and dispels fear. I gradually found that I could go anywhere; that the devil is to be resisted, as the Bible plainly teaches, and that the pain I so feared, when resisted, did "flee." I could only do this by knowing that "power belongeth unto God;" therefore, there was none anywhere else to harm. I had thought in my ignorance that there was an opposing power, and I was affected by my belief; consequently I grew stronger, mentally and physically, when my thought of these things changed completely. I found that I could not help loving God, good, and the more love I had for Him, the more I had for mankind. There has been implanted in me a deep, kindly interest in every one I meet; thus I have lost sight of "self" and its accompaniments, sensitiveness, extreme timidity, and acute suffering.
And now, the third stage of my rejoicing is that I have been able to help others, in a few instances when occasions have offered. No wonder I do greatly rejoice and feel such tenderness for Mrs. Eddy, who states on page 373 of Science and Health that "the fear of disease and the love of sin are the sources of man's enslavement." She also says (Ibid.), "Establish the scientific sense of health, and you relieve the oppressed organ. The inflammation, decomposition, or deposit will abate, and the disabled organ will resume its healthy functions." These I have proved to be veritable facts.— Oakland, Cal.
