It is nine years last March since I had the privilege of joining Mrs. Eddy's primary class. What a revelation her teaching was to me! When the class was over, I was so elated I thought it was going to be smooth sailing for me, as I was convinced of the nothingness of error, and God's omnipotence. When I returned home I told all my friends that God was not the author of sin, sickness, and death, and that Jesus destroyed them as the works of the devil,— the carnal mortal mind,— and commanded us to do likewise. I had a few dozen copies of Science and Health, which I distributed.
None would accept the teaching, some said they would rather die than be healed by Christian Science. Then the battle began. My friends began to avoid me; I was afraid to mention the name of Christian Science. I studied Science and Health with the Bible, and honestly tried to keep the door closed to wrong thoughts, and was able to master physical claims, which gave me hope and courage. And then evil thoughts would come to me as to my dear Teacher's honesty and purpose. I had difficulty in getting them out, but finally realized I never loved God or my neighbor, until she showed me how it was to be done; and then I would go on rejoicing in the fact of there being but one Mind.
I had a great deal of zeal and very little knowledge. I made many mistakes, and learned some bitter lessons, which have purified me, made me desire to be more humble and less selfish. Since I studied, I have not been laid up for one whole day. I have had some severe claims to meet which sometimes have lasted days, but I have always been able to go about as usual, though it was sometimes a mighty battle. I have great forbearance towards the sceptical ones who have not known our Mother personally. I have often thought if I had not known her, and stayed with her, and seen her great humility and selflessness, I might have been like the doubting Thomas. I cannot understand those who have studied with her, being unfaithful to her teaching. I am sure the reason is, they do not desire to meet the demands of Truth laid down in Science and Health. Mrs. Field-King has been here nearly thirteen months. The work has grown marvellously since she came. Mrs. Ward, who was the only Christian Scientist in London, and who did such good work, and conducted the meetings, rejoices with the rest of us that we have so experienced and faithful a teacher as Mrs. Field-King. She has taught a number of students who are willing to bear the discipline of Science. The work is going on slowly and surely; we are all working in perfect unity, and intend it shall be so, because we will be watchful to strangle any unloving thought, so that it cannot find lodgement and bring forth fruit after its kind. The Jews' Synagogue, which has been purchased for our place of worship, will, we hope, be ready for us by the end of June. The last new book of the Mother's is much appreciated by us all, and we realize more and more what her life of self-sacrifice has done for us. I want to show my gratitude in my life for all her wondrous Love and patience, and I would not intentionally add one straw to her burden. I do not think I am deceiving myself when I say my chief desire is to destroy in my consciousness the seeming power opposed to good.
London, England, May 24, 1897.
