On looking back over the past three years, they seem indeed like the mortal dream which Science and Health tells us is the condition of most of earth's millions. My only thought in writing this experience is to help and encourage those men in professional life from whom the juice and joy seems to have vanished.
I can say of a truth, I was driven to take Christian Science. Also, that my mind could not go back to its former attitude of what constitutes existence, to the position which I held up to May 1, 1898.
From 1879 to 1889 I was a fairly prosperous artist of the commercial type. Without academic training, I had followed lines of picture-making that were commercialized, and I traveled much. Moving to Boston in 1889, a studio was opened, and a hard struggle ensued in the endeavor to become established in a home line, so as to be with our growing family of four children, also to allay the nervousness of my wife, who suffered mentally during my enforced absences on business trips. With varying fortunes for a year or two, a position was obtained on one of the city papers as cartoonist. I had not the art-training necessary to satisfy my own mind, but the work seemed to suit my employers, and for two years the position was retained. Then came a wish to secure a larger income, and I again set up a studio for myself. For four years success seemed to be coming my way, and all I thought and planned for was to increase my income and become famous. I became mad with ambition, and the praises and encouragement of publishers and friends only made me blind.
