A Comforting result obtained by one student of Christian Science is traceable to her persistent efforts to demonstrate its divine Principle in her daily thoughts. In her early life, comfort was largely identified with cessation of effort; to find a place or a period of ease,—an easy place, or a time when she could choose her own occupation and do as she pleased, rather than as compelled by circumstance,—this was her goal. To have achieved, to be protected, served, rewarded, even while others were perhaps bearing the burden of the day,—this was, to her, the height of ambition. Those who seemed to have attained it, as, for instance, girls with an established career, or those who, having married well, had come into possession of a home of their own, with money, servants, husband, children, opportunity, prestige, and the like,—these were the women whom she accounted successful.
In later years, more sober issues swept away these outgrown ideals, replacing them with broader standards and loftier ambitions. Gain was then measured by worth; and happiness was found to be in the effort and ability to accomplish, rather than in accomplishment, as a gift or talent. And yet, even then, the factors of personality and self-seeking intruded themselves; and the uncertainty as to what, in reality, constituted true worth, either in one's self or in another, raised a question which was always a stumblingblock, —always a will-o'-the-wisp, alluring and leading, but never answered, never definite, never rightly understood.
It was at this time that Christian Science came to the writer, unfolding the issues of Spirit, and changing the viewpoint of life from a material to a spiritual basis, from the mortal to the immortal. Once more, standards must be swept away, leaving her for a time unsettled and confused. Again, her Lord was taken from her; and she knew not where they had laid him. The new standpoint of thought was scarcely discernible to her, or usable; and, yet, the old sense of materiality and personality was condemned, forbidden ground. Often, as Lot's wife, she found herself standing there, looking longingly back, helpless, hopeless, a victim of belief in a material past,— a "pillar of salt." That there was nothing to be gained by a mental attitude with such barren results was clearly seen; and her first real satisfaction came when she perceived and accepted the fact that others had seen and were following the risen Savior; and that she, also, could, and indeed must, or there would be no saving Principle for her. Then she turned forever from a desire and longing to cling to a dead past; and, instead, resolutely faced the living present with its promise of fulfillment.
