On December 4, 1913, a specialist pronounced my case to be tuberculosis in a very advanced condition, and said that immediate outdoor treatment must be commenced in a shelter on my lawn. This gentleman informed my partner that I could not recover; that I would pass on within six months. My local doctor supplemented this verdict by saying that I would never again be able to follow any employment or live in a normal way inside a house, if even this treatment were successful. He further said that the best I could expect from it would be to prolong my existence a little while, because no treatment could replenish wasted organic tissue.
I commenced my life in the shelter about the middle of December. In the second week of January a lady visited me there, and told me I could be well if I would accept the teachings of Christian Science. My life in this shelter was lonely, tedious, and restless; my thoughts were chaotic. My hopes and ideals in life had all been shattered by this great shock, and I had no religious conviction to rely upon. This lady's kindness and patience attracted me; but I felt sure that my views on religion could not suddenly be adapted to this new way of thinking. My doctors advised me to eat at all costs, even when I had no appetite. I struggled to obey; and sometimes my meals lasted an hour and a half in an effort to finish them.
After reading and rereading some Christian Science literature, I came to the conclusion that it must be either a big lie or a big truth. I had lots of time for meditation; and my thoughts were gradually moving from my physical self—including mental pictures of diseased organs, germs, decay, and thoughts of death, with consequent fears—to a more spiritual realm. I was having an awful mental upheaval. Sometimes I feared I could not survive it; but my appetite began to be normal, and step by step I gained a better evidence of health. I struggled hard to gain the substance of my new-found hope; but the way often seemed dark and too difficult for my understanding. In March I was away on a farm where, in the quiet, I read Christian Science literature all my waking hours. I had help from a Christian Science practitioner in May and June; and in the latter month I commenced business with fear and trembling, but also with hope and thankfulness.
