Skip to main content Skip to search Skip to header Skip to footer
Cover Article

BREAK FREE ...From Your Childhood

From the May 2005 issue of The Christian Science Journal

It had gotten to the point where I couldn't even eat meals with other students. I'd entered college bearing the scars of an emotionally abusive childhood. The uncontrolled anger and condemnation that my parents often expressed had left me with very low self-esteem. So although I was intelligent and attractive enough, I didn't feel intelligent or attractive. Not long after I arrived at college, I began to withdraw and avoid contact with others—hiding out in my dorm room and eating only meals I'd bought from vending machines. Feeling inadequate to meet the demands of a very competitive school, I frequently called my parents, sobbing in misery.

Although my father could get incredibly angry, he could also be wise and loving, and during one of these phone calls he gave me the most important advice of my life: "Why don't you turn to God?" Although God hadn't played a big role in my family's life, my parents had allowed my brother and me to attend the Sunday School of our choice when we were growing up. So as a college student, I decided to return to the Christian Science Sunday School to learn more about God. It proved to be a life-changing decision.

In Sunday School, I began to discover my real worth as one of God's precious children to understand more fully that God is my true Mother and Father, and that God always loves me and everyone. I started to question my childhood concept of myself and realized that I didn't have to live with the limitations of shyness, fearfulness, and self-loathing imposed by poor self-esteem. I could overcome them through prayer.