I FELT LIKE I WAS STUCK IN A RUT. As a single mother of two young children, I craved more structure, direction, and financial security in my life. So I made a major change and enlisted in the US Navy.
This meant I had to leave my children in my father's care while I went through vigorous physical and mental training. My baby, Johnathon, was only six months old at the time, and my older son, Matthew, had just turned three. I couldn't see or talk to them for the two months of training. This was very difficult for me, and I found myself questioning whether I'd made the wrong decision and if I was being a bad mother.
I hadn't given much thought to religion or God in recent years, but I found that the rigors of training now motivated me to start seeking spiritual support. I had been exposed to Christian Science as a young girl, so I was very grateful to learn that there was a Christian Science service held every Sunday morning at my training center in Illinois. I was in tears the first time I attended a service because I missed my children so much. But after the service, I met with the Christian Science chaplain. He helped me to understand that God's law doesn't just take us part of the way. When God sends us out on a mission, He supplies everything we need for that mission to be a success. The chaplain helped me to understand that I had the strength, endurance, and trust in God's care to know that just as He is Father-Mother to me, He is also Parent to my children. I didn't need to give in to what was really a false human sense of emotion, loss, or fear — false because God didn't create it.
The chaplain shared with me what he referred to as his spiritual "standing order" — one the Navy doesn't teach. He said he found this direction in Science and Health where Mary Eddy wrote: "Stand porter at the door of thought. Admitting only such conclusions as you wish realized in bodily results, you will control yourself harmoniously" (p. 392). This idea appealed to me, and I decided to try to follow this new standing order during the next week. As I began to watch my thinking and apply a more disciplined approach to it, not only did the homesickness disappear, but my appreciation for being able to demonstrate who I really am as God's image and likeness grew. I began to actively study Christian Science again, and I applied for membership in The Mother Church.
After several weeks, my renewed interest and commitment to prayer was put to the test when I developed severe pain in one leg. I was sleeping in a top bunk, and it was difficult for me to get out of bed in the morning and move around during the day, let alone run or put any strain on my leg.
My training petty officer sent me to the medical unit, where doctors concluded that I had several stress fractures in my leg bones and would need to be put on "limited light duty." The doctors said this type of injury was normal for a nonrunner (I'd never run before I joined the Navy) and that it would take at least eight weeks for the condition to heal. Their prognosis meant I would miss too much training to graduate with my unit, which meant I would most likely have to start basic training all over again — and that meant even more time away from my family.
The following Sunday, I met with the chaplain again. We talked about the healing prayer in the 23rd Psalm, which starts, "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want." This psalm promised me that everything I needed to fulfill God's mission for me was already mine. I lacked nothing. And I had nothing to fear because God was right there with me. This helped me to see that I was not governed by material circumstances or conditions, but by the mighty "rod" and "staff" of God. The chaplain said he would let my family know that I needed extra support and that he would pray for me, as well.
I also knew that I needed to make sure I continued to follow my first standing order—the precious lesson I'd learned at the beginning of training, to stand porter at the door of my thought. Every day I would find quiet time in the shower (which was practically the only place I could be alone) to turn my thought to God and to know that divine Principle was always at work. I could not be kept from completing His mission by some false claim of pain. After a few days of conscientious prayer, I found I no longer had to use the crutches the doctors had given me. And by the next week, I was back on normal duty with my unit, marching toward my graduation date.
I did end up graduating with my unit, and was soon reunited with my family. In fact, the blessings of my renewed commitment to Christian Science have continued. Now, I am married to my children's father. We live together on a Navy base, and he is able to care for our children while I work as an equipment operator. Through this experience, it has become very clear to me, "Whatever it is your duty to do, you can do without harm to yourself" (Science and Health, p. 385.)
SIERRA VISTA, ARIZONA, US
