WHILE GROWING UP in São Paulo, Brazil, I didn't practice any particular faith. I rejected the only religion I knew, passed down from my parents, because I couldn't believe the church's teaching that man was born a sinner.
So, as a teenager, when I became interested in finding solutions to human suffering, God didn't seem to me to be a factor in that solution. But after my family moved to Rio de Janeiro, my desire for answers led me to study psychology in high school. I thought this science could resolve all of humanity's problems.
Years later, I became a psychologist and developed an active practice. But after about five years in that field, I realized that psychology hadn't given me definitive answers to my probing questions about life. I thought there must be something more, something that could explain why we're here and how to alleviate suffering. I started to read books on spiritually and religion, investigated many faiths, including evangelical and eastern religions, and attended seminars on spirituality and different churches.
During this period of spiritual searching, I also started going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings because of my work. There I learned about the second step of their 12-step recovery program, and that AAers trust in a superior power—a power greater than themselves—to help them stay sober. Trusting in something outside of myself was a new concept for me, but I decided to practice the program's second step and turn my thought to God when problems loomed. In time, God became so real to me that I became more joyful. I left my psychology practice and stopped drinking—and smoking, too. Smoking, I realized, was just another form of material dependency. I also lost faith in medicine to help me, and I discontinued taking pills (lots of them) for every little problem.
After one or two months I stopped going to the AA meetings to delve deeper in my research on spirituality. While I appreciated the good I'd gained from attending the meetings, I could no longer identify myself as an alcoholic. The 12-step program is based on the declaration that you're an alcoholic for life. That thought made me very sad.
While I continued searching for answers, a friend reappeared in my life. When I'd last seen her she had been very depressed, so much so that I'd given up on being able to help her. But months later, when she came to my home, I noticed she was completely transformed—mentally balanced, kind, and more patient and joyful. Even more beautiful! The reason for this astonishing change, she said, was Christian Science. She gave me a copy of The Herald of Christian Science in Portuguese [O Arauto da Ciência Crista] and invited me to go to a Christian Science church service with her one Sunday. I was so impressed by her healing that I went with her. After the service, I concluded that the people there were all crazy. They said God was with us all the time, and it sounded as though they did nothing without guidance from God. I couldn't believe God was with me all the time, or that He was involved in the details of my life. That was a very radical thought.
It crossed my mind that if I understood anything I'd read in Science and Health I could heal my fingers.
I had many concepts about man that were based in psychology; for example, that we are self-made and we have to be independent beings. However, the concept rooted in the Bible that we are made in the image and likeness of God means we depend entirely on God. I couldn't understand or accept this. It provoked fear in me. Nevertheless, I bought another Herald magazine and a copy of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy because I still wanted to know how my friend had been healed of the depression. I opened the book and read the table of contents, the names of the chapters, and I continued reading. But I couldn't understand anything, and my friend couldn't explain Christian Science to me. So I put the book in my bookcase and kept on searching.
At that point, I had decided that I wanted to learn about God from God directly, and not from spiritual leaders and their books. So I started to pray for a better understanding of Him. I mentally affirmed that if I wanted to know God it was because I could know God. In retrospect, I realize this intuition that I could know God was the Christ talking to me. I defended in thought the idea that I could understand this divine message from God, against all opposing suggestions.
One day, my friend asked me if I'd like to go to church with her again. But I didn't want to go back to church. Every day, truly every day, she asked me. When I was about to lose my patience with her I thought: "No, every day I pray, and every day she asks me to go to church. There must be something in that."
Then I remembered Science and Health. Once again, I started to read the book. This time (about five years after I first opened it), I finished the book. I felt a great sense of hope and a certainty that things would get better. I didn't know how, but I knew deep down they would.
Shortly after, I was in my kitchen one morning cooking an egg, and without thinking I picked up the frying pan with both hands and badly burned them. They immediately became red and very painful. I had to drive somewhere right after this incident, and it crossed my mind that if I understood anything I'd read in Science and Health I could heal my fingers. I went to my room and prayed with a couple of simple ideas from the book—that matter has no sensation and that I am spiritual. In about ten minutes the pain and redness left. I found that so interesting. At that moment, I knew the path I should follow.
I began attending a local Christian Science church, and after a year I became a member. Later I joined The Mother Church in Boston and had Christian Science class instruction, during which we studied the chapter "Recapitulation" in Science and Health. During this class I discovered that absolutely nothing could separate me from God, the one Mind. As God's reflection, I understand everything I need to understand. I don't need to feel confusion; I don't have to accept any condition that would make me feel separated from God. I am able to listen to God every moment. That discovery was very special. As a result, my prayers became more effective and more powerful.
Since that quick healing of burns, Christian Science has been my number one priority in life. Some days are easier than others when you practice a spiritually scientific means of healing that challenges the status quo. But I keep at it, because I've seen it work time and again, and I know without a doubt this Science is the answer to every challenge facing humanity.
