I have had the immense privilege of growing up as a Christian Scientist. I am a member of The Mother Church and an active branch church member. Here is my dilemma: Lately, I’ve been feeling so guilty. Guilty whenever I don’t read the Bible Lesson each day. Guilty when I don’t pray daily for myself, let alone for the world. Guilty when I don’t pray more for the growth of my church, and that I’m not in the full-time practice of Christian Science, or would want a different career. Guilty that I’ve never written a testimony despite having had many wonderful healings. And I feel guilty about asking a Christian Science practitioner for help because I feel I should be fixing things myself.
I feel I should be doing so much more. I guess, to sum it up, I feel like a bad Christian Scientist. Any thoughts?
— A reader in New Zealand
A. What comes to my mind are these questions: “What does it mean to be a Christian, and when do I become a Christian Scientist?” It’s definitely not when we are born into a Christian Science family, or when we sign a membership application for church and get accepted. Nor is it when we daily read the Bible Lesson, or quit a job to be listed in the Journal as a Christian Science practitioner.
Mary Baker Eddy designed our Church to support us in becoming compassionate thinkers and healers. All of the Church’s activities, including its services, are available to promote that end. After all, the purpose of this Church is to “reinstate primitive Christianity and its lost element of healing” (Church Manual, p. 17). If we have the slightest interest in this purpose, we are naturally led to do whatever promotes our spiritual growth and well-being.
