When I was a young mother with two very young children, I fell into a dark sadness and depression. I felt unloved and unwanted, and my marriage was in serious trouble. It was a time when I just wanted to “stop the world,” so to speak, and get off. My church attendance had all but come to a halt for several years.
One day when I felt totally alone, I asked God to help me. Almost immediately the thought came: “Go to church tonight.” It was Wednesday, which meant there would be an evening testimony meeting at the branch Church of Christ, Scientist, nearby. I had always made excuses not to attend these Wednesday testimony meetings. Because this was such a surprising and unexpected thought, I thought about it seriously, and decided to give it a shot. I called a babysitter and went to church alone that night.
Christian Science testimony meetings include readings from the Bible and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, the textbook of Christian Science, written by Mary Baker Eddy. There is also time for attendees to share testimonies about how turning to God and the truths of Christian Science has restored harmony and brought healing. That night I heard some wonderful testimonies and learned how other people were praying in a way that I had never known. They told of healings that had come, not just by asking God for help, but by thanking God in advance for His guidance, love, and omnipotent care.
I listened intently that night, and left with a deep sense of God’s presence and a new, unfamiliar feeling—anticipation of a brighter tomorrow. From that night on I couldn’t wait to attend these Wednesday services to hear more about how others were utilizing prayer. The following Sunday I gathered up my babies and we went to church.
As I gained a better understanding of God, I became a student of Christian Science rather than just an attendee at Christian Science services. I was really digging into the Bible and Science and Health. As I dug deeper for a better understanding of my relation to God, the dark sadness fell away and the light of the Christ, Truth, ever at work in my life, became more apparent.
During this time of spiritual transformation I studied and prayed with two Bible verses that I still deeply cherish today. The first one is: “For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring” (Acts 17:28). I was beginning to understand God’s presence in my life. I thought about how a father and mother care for their child, and I realized that I was God’s offspring and He cared for me as my Father-Mother. As I learned that I was one of God’s children, I let go of various concerns that had overwhelmed me, looked to God to guide me, and kept my thoughts on Him as my guardian and provider. I knew I could trust God to shelter, provide for, and care for all, and the agonizing fear and doubt began to fall away.
The second Bible verse that helped me is: “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning” (James 1:17). Photographers will light the subject they want to capture. As brightly lit as the subject is in front of the camera, behind the subject is an equally dark shadow. This is not the case when it comes to the reality of our being in God. There cannot be a resulting shadow, because we are completely surrounded by God’s love and light. There is no darkness in God, and no variation in His perpetual love and goodness. God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. As John says in his First Epistle: “God is light, and in him is no darkness at all” (1:5).
Thanking God for His spiritual light and guidance, and cultivating an expectancy of good, unfolded many healing ideas. The problems in my marriage that seemed insurmountable were healed through a deeper understanding of divine Love. I also realized that the good unfolding in my life was reaching everyone in my experience. My husband and I both began attending church regularly, and the children were enrolled in Sunday School. We both became active church members, and within a very short time were led to take Primary class instruction in Christian Science. This is a class that teaches the spiritual truths that enable us to heal through scientific prayer alone, in the way Christ Jesus healed centuries ago.
Relying on our Father-Mother Love brings permanent solutions to problems, rather than a quick fix. It involves a discipline of listening for God’s direction and guidance all the time, not just when we have a problem. Understanding that God, the creator of the universe, including man, governs through spiritual law brings thought into accord with God’s universal spiritual government, which is pure, perfect, and perpetually operating in harmony. God’s love is unchanging and constant; His love operates as the spiritual law of good.
We can all trust God’s law of love and goodness to dispel any suggestions of doubt, depression, fear, lack, pain, sickness, disability, homelessness, etc. The spiritual ideas that come from God permanently transform and bless human consciousness, as I so wonderfully experienced.
Anita Collins Arlen
Highland Beach, Florida, US
