Manner is the style normal to the man; and every man has a characteristic manner, whether or not he has any manners. Manners are the forms of respect paid to circumstances, to other persons and their relations. Good manners are an essential element in good breeding; but good breeding is more than good manners. It goes deeper. Good manners are compatible with a selfish and superficial character. Good breeding implies moral respect for the rights and feelings of others. It cherishes the spirit of which good manners should be the expression. It is thus the very soul of all good manners; and under every kind of manner it commands our esteem.
Good manners we may learn at home or abroad. But home is the proper, and almost the exclusive soil, for the primary culture of good breeding. This carries with it the essential quality of good manners. In the home, therefore, good breeding should receive the prime attention. Home is the place where it can most easily take root and grow. It likes an atmosphere of love and kind feeling and common interest. Here it must have its inception; but when it has developed into strength, it will freely go abroad, and miss no country in its travels.
There is a sense in which manners need not be so very punctilious at home as among strangers. Where manners are about the only recognized bond and medium of civil association, they are necessarily exalted into a rank of first importance. A slight neglect or slip here may be interpreted into a fault or an offence, or even an insult, and result in very serious trouble. There is not the same danger in the home. The home, too, is a place for more freedom and nervous rest; and the strain of severe punctilio may be in some degree thrown off.
