As I have been benefited by the experience of others as given from time to time in the Journal, I gladly add a part of mine hoping that it may prove helpful to others. I was brought up by loving parents, and used often to listen to the old, old story of Jesus and his wonderful works. I grew up in the thought that believing in the works of Jesus was the prerequisite of a Christian life, but did not realize, as I had never been taught, that any measure of understanding of his works was necessary. I was told that the power to do these wonderful works was given to Jesus and his apostles alone simply that they might thereby prove to the world that Jesus was the Messiah. I commenced to attend revival meetings, and there I heard the people tell of the wondrous love of Jesus, and of a peace and happiness they had found, which they had never found before. I was often asked whether or not I was saved, and when I answered that I thought I was, but did not know, they said there was no such thing as thinking about it; if I did not know I was saved, I was lost. They told me of that terrible lake of fire which awaited the unrepentant sinner, and that there he would have to suffer throughout an endless eternity. A number of my companions made their way to the penitent bench, and after talking to me and endeavoring to persuade me to join them, began to offer prayers in my behalf; praying that I might find no rest or peace until I gave my heart to Jesus. Thus the fire grew hot and hotter until finally through abject fear I too went to the penitent bench and prayed to God to give me the wonderful peace which he had given to the others. I was told that all I need do was to believe on the Lord Jesus, and he would save me from the awful fate which had been pointed out to me. This consoling reflection,—the belief that I had thus escaped so dreadful a fate, did bring with it a degree of happiness to which I had formerly been a stranger. Yet I failed to find that happiness and peace which others had claimed to possess, and when reading of the wonderful works of Jesus in healing the sick and casting out demons, I thought if only such things could now be done how much happier and better the world would be. But I dared not think of this for I had been taught that the days of miracles had passed, and that now God only saved from sin, but in sickness it was his will that we should call upon the doctor. At the same time I was told that sickness was sent of God to punish us for our transgressions and to make us humble and obedient to him. I was not told why if this were true, we must call the physician to make us well, thereby possibly coming in conflict with God's purpose that we should remain sick in order that we might the better serve him.
In this mystified condition of mind I heard of the peculiar people called Christian Scientists. I was told that they claimed to heal in the same way that Jesus and the apostles did. I thought this was the greatest sacrilege of which I had ever heard, and like many others I denounced it as a dangerous heresy. I said it was not of God, therefore, it must be of the devil. Again and again I would hear of people being healed by this means, and at last I said, "If Christian Science is the truth, I should know it, and I will investigate it for myself." About that time I met a lady and gentleman on the train who were working in Christian Science. The lady very kindly asked me to call upon her if I ever visited the city in which they lived. A short time after this, being in their city, I called upon them, and was told that a Christian Science meeting would be held that afternoon. The hour came and I attended. The speaker read First John 4, and then explained it from the Christian Science standpoint. The only part I remembered was this: "God is Love." Then the speaker reversed it and said, "If God is Love, then Love must be God manifested to the world." This I never forgot. I heard several sermons after that of the old kind; but when they would picture God as a God of wrath and a mighty king ruling the world in awful majesty, angry with his children for their transgressions and ready to consign them to eternal torture to appease his wrath, the words of John came ringing back in my ears, "God is Love." Then I would think of the reversed statement made by the Christian Scientist, "Love is God." I then pondered, "If God is Love, and Love is God, how can Love ever at any time, for any purpose, or for a single instant become hate?"
This was my beginning in Christian Science, and soon brought me into a class room where I purchased that book of Love, Science and Health with key to the Scriptures, by the Rev. Mary B. G. Eddy, discoverer and founder of Christian Science, and through the teaching I received, instructing me how to read it, I soon found that I was being carried back to the days of Jesus and the apostles, and that indeed the "days of miracles" had not passed, but that God was as much "Love" to-day as he had ever been. I found the study of this book so illuminated the Bible that it became a new book to me, and in it I found treasures of Love of which I had never before dreamed. I formerly studied the Bible because I was taught, and believed it to be, a duty to do so. I now read and study it because of the pleasure and satisfaction it gives me, and because in it I find the answer to my needs and longing desires.
