I did not become a Christian Scientist from physical healing, of which, however, I was sorely in need, for a lifelong liver trouble seemed culminating toward its sequel in frequent attacks of stupor accompanied by swollen extremities. This was relieved only by a great upheaval of the whole system, with relapses after short intervals into a more aggravated condition. Multiplied sorrows, cares, crosses, and losses so completely absorbed my thought that I lost interest in my health, became almost oblivious of it, ready to exclaim with Paul, "O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" Foolishly trusting in my own effort to relieve conditions, I was absorbed in vain attempts to save the wreck of a once comfortable income; and on a Sunday morning I soliloquized: "How can I extricate myself from this maelstrom of misfortune?" Error suggested, "Die out of it." But the brute courage necessary was lacking, since from my earliest memory I was horribly afraid of death. Then my good angel whispered, "Moral courage is required to steer you in this sea of trouble on which you are launched. 'Be strong, and of a good courage.'" So I went, as was my wont, toward the church which I loved and for which I had labored many years, hoping to find comfort and guidance in its teachings. Meeting on the way a kind neighbor, I went at her request to the Christian Science Reading Rooms and there heard the Bible Lesson in the Christian Science Quarterly,—correlative passages from the Bible and "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mrs. Eddy. Deeply interested, and recognizing the truth of its teachings, I bought a copy of Science and Health and began its study that afternoon. Interest deepened as I read, which I often did far into the night, and my husband, a retired physician and invalid, asked, "What do you find in that book to interest you so deeply?" I replied, "The teaching of this book fills the emptiness and yearning of my whole life."
This was the early part of January, 1892, and I found my chief solace and pleasure in the study of Science and Health, and in attending the Christian Science services, until the following March, when I awoke one morning with pain in my liver. I was suffering much, but did not complain. Soon the mental suggestion came, This is the advent of the abscess on your liver of which doctors have warned you. I had been all my life in bondage from fear of death; but strange to relate that fear was now destroyed through the truth I had gained from Science and Health. By noon the swelling and inflammation had so increased that I was compelled to remove some of my clothing. My husband, seeing the manifestation of suffering in my countenance, asked, "Are you in pain?" When I told him, he showed anxiety, and suggested a remedy which he had applied on similar occasions. I declined. By evening the symptoms were aggravated, inflammation and swelling assuming alarming proportions, and he said, "This is a serious matter, and if something is not done to relieve you, it will result fatally," thus making an appeal to my old fear of death; but it did not move me to desert the standard of Truth to which I was now clinging rather than to materia medica. After a night of great suffering, my husband could not longer conceal his alarm, and said emphatically, "If you do not have medical aid you will die." Confident in my trust in the truth, which I felt could not fail me, I replied firmly and fearlessly, "I am so convinced that Christian Science is the Christ-cure that I am willing to risk my life to prove it." My daughter then urged me to send for a Christian Science practitioner. This I also declined, without knowing why, except that I felt confident God would send me deliverance in His own good way and time, which He did, for that afternoon my teacher came on a visit, was surprised to see me thus, and began treatment immediately. In about fifteen minutes I felt that I was healed, and exclaimed gratefully and gladly, "I am perfectly well." In less than an hour I dressed myself and walked several blocks to tell the glad news to a friend who had been commiserating my sufferings. This quick and thorough healing was to me an exemplification of our precious Leader's statement on page 365 of Science and Health. "If the Scientist reaches his patient through divine Love, he will accomplish the healing work at one visit, and the disease will vanish into its native nothingness, like dew before the morning sunshine." The study of Science and Health was the chief factor in this healing.
For release from fear of physical death I cannot find words to express my gratitude; through the wearing of this fear-forged chain my life had seemed almost a living death. I have also regained my sight, having worn glasses for about ten years previously, but am now reading, writing, and sewing without them. Referring to material losses, as one of my old claims, I count them all as gain, for having nothing, I seem to possess all things," since all my wants are now liberally supplied by divine Love, who "maketh me to lie down in green pastures" and "leadeth me beside the still waters." My one desire is to live the life and do the works of a genuine Christian Scientist.
