HOW eagerly have many beginners in the study of Christian Science gone forth to publish the good news of the promised Comforter's appearance on earth, apparently with but a single purpose—to glorify God! And yet some of us, after going through trying experiences, have awakened to see that at first we unconsciously held in thought a selfish desire to share in the glory which we were ostensibly so eager to bring to God, and that even the motive which prompted our efforts to lead others to the truth was not wholly an unselfish one. Cradled in a nest of fallacious human hopes, swayed by self-will, self-righteousness, and the pride of our intellectual acceptance of divine Science, we dreamed in pitiful self-conceited ignorance that we might be very useful in advancing the Cause of this new-old religion, that many would gladly receive its message when we presented it to them, and that this newly acquired knowledge might be used to further our poor personal plans.
Perhaps, like the impetuous Peter, in our eagerness to reach the side of Truth we stepped out upon the sea of error with great hopes of our own attainment, with small consideration for those in the ship, and with only a blind faith in God. But when we felt the wind blowing boisterously we became afraid, and as we sank through our superficial knowledge of Christian Science, on which we had hoped to go forward, we suddenly distrusted our own ability and cried out for a firm foundation, for a demonstrable knowledge of God and His unfailing law, which only enlightened faith and proved spiritual understanding can bring to us. Being then astounded at our former presumptuousness, in humility we learned that men are not self-sufficient, and were quite willing to place our hand within the firm clasp of divine Love, ready to be drawn out of the error into which we had plunged, glad to be led back into the little ship, where we might safely sit at the Master's feet and worship Truth with those whose efforts and wiser methods we may not have appreciated.
The Bible clearly shows us that Jesus recognized the tendency that self-deceived mortals seem to have to exalt themselves, even while believing that they are doing all things for the glory of God ; for at one time he said pointedly to his disciples, "Ye have not chosen me," adding significantly, "but I have chosen you and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit." How valuable is the arresting and direct message in these illuminating words to all of us to-day who would follow the Wayshower! What a help they are in enabling us to take up our work in the right way! For in the presence of the thought they present, we are forced to drop any feeling of self-importance. Likewise, Paul felt it necessary to caution the faithful Christians in Macedonia against the subtle workings of self-aggrandizement; for he wrote in an epistle to the Philippians, "It is God Himself whose power creates within you the desire to do His gracious will and also brings about the accomplishment of the desire" (Weymouth). Here we may see and understand that the holy desire to know and do the will of God did not originate in us, but in God, and that His will is revealed to each one of us in proportion as we lose our belief in the personal possession of an erring human will.
