"Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee" (Isa. 60:1). The understanding of this verse, interpreted in the light of Christian Science, freed me from the mesmerism of melancholia, belief in the hopelessness of living, and an intense fear of contagious diseases and death.
From early childhood I had heard about Christian Science, and many wonderful healings had taken place in our family through the study and application of this Science. When I left home to attend college my grandmother gave me my first copy of Science and Health by Mary Baker Eddy. When problems appeared insurmountable, and loneliness seemed more than I could bear, I read this book and found comfort and guidance.
Later, when friends called me impractical and too idealistic, I became engrossed in exploring the origin and development of other religions, philosophies, and studies in psychology, and even read books that criticized religions. I neglected to read the Lesson-Sermons, and seldom attended church. Doubts and fears crept in and I became confused. Everything seemed mixed up, and it was. I was trying to obey two masters, to believe in God and mammon. The more I studied the various isms, the more depressed I became. When I think of those years I feel like the prodigal son, who found the willful way of his choice led only to husks. In all the many human philosophies there were no positive rules, no absolute truths to rely on in times of need. The mist of material thinking, which I had allowed to govern me, hid the blessed Truth which heals and saves. Gradually I sank deeper into melancholia, ill-health, and an intense fear of death.
