Although as a girl I was raised with Christian Science in the midst of a very loving and supportive home environment, I began in high school to develop an underlying feeling of inadequacy. I was reluctant to participate in social situations where I anticipated not fitting in. In college I actually felt an acute discomfort in some campus activities that were supposed to be fun. I had many friends, but felt truly myself around few of them.
About the time I had accepted the idea that I might never find my social niche, I met a woman on campus with whom I had much in common. We had similar academic and cultural interests and many shared experiences. Most strikingly, neither of us felt we belonged in mainstream society. We began to spend all of our free time together, and for the first time in several years, I felt comfortable and at ease. I gradually realized that my attraction to her was physical, and furthermore discovered this attraction was mutual. We began and maintained an exclusive dating relationship, and spent little time apart. Although at times we lived in different cities, we continued this relationship for close to three years. The commitment was always tentative on my part, however, because of my feelings of guilt. We were not physically intimate, but the temptation was relentless, and our relationship became one characterized by struggle, frustration, and self-will.
Freed from homosexual
entanglement.
