MY HUSBAND is a beautiful man. Though he isn't hard on the eyes, I'm not speaking of his looks. He's beautiful because of his integrity. Cheating is just not in his nature concerning marriage or anything else. At business, in church, on the tennis court, he's someone you can always count on to be fair, to tell the truth, and to do the right thing. He's responsible, hardworking, reliable.
He's a man in my eyes, also, because he's so full of adventure. He can fly a plane, scuba dive, loves to travel and discover new things. He has led me into places I would never have ventured into on my own. He intrigues me, because he puts no limits on himself or the projects he'll take on. In other words, his special appeal to me goes way beyond anything having to do with his appearance or prestige in the community—or his personal chemistry. It's the spiritual qualities he expresses that define him in my eyes—and the qualities I find attractive each have their base in God. The very word, man, takes my thought to the concept of manifestation. That man is the manifestation of God. Man in spiritual terms refers, of course, to women just as much as to men. In reality, we all reflect the entirety of God's qualities and attributes. But, even before an individual is able to express all of God's qualities, a balance of right qualities is what works in a relationship.
On the one hand, my husband's attractiveness to me is that he expresses the primary qualities I feel to be vital to a marriage, such as trustworthiness. In any situation, he's there for me, for our children, and for our grandchildren. Yet, on the other hand, he expresses the sort of qualities that balance the qualities I express best. He comes up with ideas and things to do that wouldn't even cross my mind otherwise. And I have involved him in activities that he might not have participated in without me in his life. This enriches our relationship and home.
What's more, in exhibiting what we have mastered of our expression of God, we each serve as an example to the other and thus encourage one another toward further progress. For example, my husband is more consistent and temperate than I am. To date, I'm more an all or nothing type—working in grand spurts of inspiration—not always stopping to eat or sleep regularly. His steady, unfaltering pace from day to day serves as a beacon to me to be more systematic and balanced. Isn't this what the beauty of a relationship is all about? Beautiful qualities and growth in grace?
NOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG, you fellows. There's nothing wrong with looking good. When Samuel was sent by God to anoint one of Jesse's sons to be king, he was instructed not to judge the brothers on their appearance or the height of their stature, but by their hearts. Yet, David, who was God's chosen one, was described as "ruddy, and withal of a beautiful countenance, and goodly to look to." I Sam, 16:12. The Bible's point being the David was chosen not because of his nice outward appearance, but because of his spiriutal traits and his goodness.
As far as a first impression goes, surface looks may have a temporary impact on women; but this is not what underlies the partnerships that last a lifetime. Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of this magazine wrote in a chapter on marriage in Science and Health: "The attraction between native qualities will be perpetual only as it is pure and true, bringing sweet seasons of renewal like the returning spring." Science and Health, p. 57
Beautiful qualities of the heart make a man attractive—regardless of appearance, good or not so good. A truly beautiful man never loses his appeal to a truly beautiful woman.
