SIMON, SON OF JONAS, IS A DISCIPLE OF MUCH PROMISE. He has left all to follow his beloved Master, Jesus Christ. With deep spiritual insight, he is the one who declares Jesus' true identity as the Messiah, "the Son of the living God." For this, Simon is given the keys to the kingdom of heaven and the new name of Peter, meaning "rock."
But there is a shadow that follows Peter's calling—a shadow he can't seem to shake. On the heels of Peter's revelation about Jesus' identity, Jesus declares his own impending crucifixion and resurrection. Peter takes Jesus aside and rebukes him, "God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you." Stunningly, Jesus' reaction is swift and harsh, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things." Matt. 16:22, 23 (NRSV).
Later, with his mind still on human things like honor and glory, Peter is unable to fathom why Jesus, after partaking of his last supper, would humble himself in washing his disciples' feet. "You will never wash my feet," Peter tells him. Jesus answers, "Unless I wash you, you have no share with me." John 13:8 (NRSV).
Why is Jesus' act so important that a refusal to participate would cut one off from having any part of Jesus? In stooping to wash his disciples' feet, Jesus is teaching a lesson of humility and love, right on the eve of his crucifixion and subsequent glorification. It's interesting to note that the Gospel of John, in which this account appears, uses the phrase "lifted up" to bind together Jesus' experiences of crucifixion (lifted up onto the cross) and resurrection (lifted up to his Father). Seeing these two experiences as one, unites sacrifice and glory as requirements for true discipleship, bringing together the cross and the crown as inseparable.
Peter, of course, has the crown firmly in his grasp—or so he thinks. He now insists that he be washed all over, perhaps feeling that this will increase his "share" of Jesus. But Jesus tells him plainly, "You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7 (NRSV). Through his self-immolation in footwashing, Jesus is prophesying his imminent death on the cross. "Do you know what I have done to you?" John 13:12 (NRSV). Jesus urgently asks. "Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another." John 13:34. (NRSV)
But Peter is not yet able to love as his Master. Although he has declared that he will lay down his life for him, within hours, as Jesus is arrested, Peter finds himself denying three times that he even knows Jesus. Peter's sense of promise dissolves into bitter tears. Yet in his very failure comes the death of his pride—the cross for Peter, the Christianization of Peter, the very way to his resurrection promise. He is being washed all over.
Peter might ask, "Why not the crown without the cross?" The supreme paradox—that in order to be saved, one must "die," or give up all those things that would stand in the way of the perfect love that Jesus demonstrated—lies at the heart of the New Testament "good news," or Gospels. To be saved goes far beyond mere release from harm to a total transformation and redemption of our lives. "Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it." Matt. 10:39 (NRSV).
Amazingly, even after Jesus himself has forsaken all for his followers—enduring a humiliating crucifixion and three days in the tomb and a subsequent resurrection—the disciples go home to fish. Perhaps they need time to digest what they have just witnessed—the death of what they thought they knew, and the new reality in which they are now immersed. In particular, Peter has to come to grips with his own failure in faith.
With the dawning of the day, their nets and dreams have come up empty. But suddenly from the shore, a stranger's voice calls out for them to cast their net on the right side of the boat. And it is their net—now bursting with fish—that signals the identity of this stranger on the shore. With incurable zeal, Peter leaps overboard into the sea to join his Master.
Seeing the crucifixion and resurrection as one, unites sacrifice and glory as requirements for true discipleship, bringing together the cross and the crown as inseparable.
Peter and Jesus have unresolved issues. Jesus asks him, "Do you love me more than these?" John 21:15 (NRSV). Do you love me? Do you love me? Three times Peter had fallen asleep in Gethsemane; three times he had denied Jesus in the courtyard; and now three questions and three replies—each more pressing than the last—evoking the time of the cross for both of them.
As the resurrected Jesus had returned for Thomas, to bring him from doubt to faith, so now he returns for Peter and the others, to move them from faith to action. It is Jesus' Christly love and patience in restoring one of his own that moves Peter beyond this moment of confrontation to healing and discipleship. Peter's love has now become far more than lip service. His new life, now gifted over to the service of Jesus' sheep, has become a sacrament, a means of grace. The resurrection faith was slow to dawn in Peter's thought, but dawn it did.
"Even though all become deserters," Peter had boasted, "I will not." Mark 14:29 (NRSV). Peter, and all who follow, come to know that we can't do things our way or we will work hard through the night for naught. But in the presence of the risen Christ, new possibilities can emerge in the twinkling of an eye. What looked like an empty net is found bursting at the seams.
Two millennia later, we still read of Peter's repentance, regeneration, and spiritual stamina, finding in it courage and forgiveness. Like Peter, we are all the children of God—children of the resurrection promise. And, like Peter, as each of us takes up the cross, demonstrating the unselfed love and sacrifice that this entails, a point will come when there will be nothing of the old self left to stand between God and the individual. We will know no life divided; we will be risen; as the cross, so the crown.
After earning her master's degree from the Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley, California, Helen Mathis spent four years as director of the Foundation for Biblical Research in New England. She currently teaches Bible throughout the country and is a faculty member of Higher Ground (www.highergroundforlife.com), an expanding network of educational resources and conferences that celebrate the Bible and Christian discipleship.
