WHEN I THINK TO DIFFERENT STAGES of my life, I usually think about the books I was reading at the time. I've loved reading since the day I picked up Charlotte's Web at the age of eight. Naturally, When it came time, I chose a college known for its Great Books Program, which focused on classical texts that form the basis of Western thought. Everyone read the same books, and we began our sophomore year with selections from the Bible and other theological texts. Though I had been brought up in a Protestant faith, reading entire books of the Bible straight through was a new experience. Even more enlightening were the conversations with my classmates whose faiths varied from atheist to Buddhist.
Though I didn't attend church while at college, I did go with my mother during school breaks. I loved discussing the Bible and theology with my pastor, but I felt a bit disappointed when my fellow church members weren't moved to discuss the lessons and sermons with me. I wasn't sure if there was a place where I could explore my thoughts about God and church.
At school I struggled to understand Job's faith, St. Augustine's inspiration, Aquinas's logic. However, when I read the book of Matthew the fog of doubt lifted. I wrote my semester essay on the statement, "The kingdom of heaven is at hand" (Matt. 4:17). I understood this teaching to mean that every individual has the ability to enter into the kingdom of heaven, not through church dogma, a pastor, offerings, or bread and wine, but through a personal relationship with God. I decided that my church was not helping me find the kingdom of heaven, and I despaired of one that could. Was there a church interested primarily in the teachings of Jesus? I wanted to study more of the Bible within a spiritual context, not just an academic one. I wanted a congregation full of people with whom I could share my search for the kingdom of heaven. I hadn't yet heard the term "primitive Christianity" (Church Manual, p. 17), but that's what I was looking to practice.
