As a nun, I often thought about Christian Science, the religion I was raised in as a child and young adult. I noticed that my studies in Christian Science had placed a filter within me, a “divine Science default mode” so to speak, that was always active. Whatever was not in accord with the truth of Christian Science was almost automatically sifted and carried away by the wind. In fact, this filter, or default mode, had never left me even though I’d often tried to disable it.
After my mother’s passing, I left Christian Science and even went so far as to sever my membership in The Mother Church. I may have severed that relationship externally, but since Church is, as Mary Baker Eddy defines it, “The structure of Truth and Love,” I could never really be removed from such a structure as it “rests upon and proceeds from divine Principle” (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 583).
One evening, when struggling over whether or not to leave the monastery, I found the website of The Mother Church, The First Church of Christ, Scientist, in Boston. I was amazed at what I found. Just seeing the edifice of The Mother Church again after all those years roused my heart and brought back so many wonderful memories. I thought of my first Sunday School teacher, who always wore outlandish hats, the brims of which were so large they could give shelter to a little girl like me. I thought of the Christian Science family who owned and operated the first kindergarten and elementary school I ever attended. The peace of divine Love was so palpable there. I recalled the visits to practitioners’ offices. The many healings I had experienced suddenly flooded my consciousness.