I’ve been thinking about Jesus and his healing work more than ever before. I am particularly struck with this statement from Science and Health: “Jesus never spoke of disease as dangerous or as difficult to heal” (pp. 147–148). He wasn’t ruled by fear; neither did he wonder about what was going on with the physical body. He just relied on God to reveal the perfect nature of man. At no time have I found this concept more important than I did a year ago.
I had been visiting my parents for Christmas in Washington State, and while there, I awoke in the night with a feeling of nausea that seemed to ebb and flow as I lay in bed, trying to pray about the situation. My husband and I were due to fly home the next morning, and as I reached out to God in my prayers, I was able to handle this aggressive mental suggestion by recognizing and reaffirming the allness of God.
Even though I felt fine the next morning, I received a very strong angel message to change our flight home, which we were able to do at a very busy travel time of year—with little trouble and much gratitude. We flew home two days later and ushered in a white New Year at home in New England.
A few days later, on the first Sunday of the new year, my husband and I were getting ready for the short drive to our Christian Science branch church, when I suddenly felt ill again. But we continued on to church, and once there, I found a quiet place to pray, informing an usher of the situation. Just before the service I went downstairs to get a drink of water, but my hand was shaking so my husband had to take the cup from my hand. At that point, we felt it best to go home.
Something felt very wrong, and even though I had already been praying silently, I found it necessary to repeat “the scientific statement of being” from the Christian Science textbook (see p. 468) out loud and vehemently. For the next several hours, I struggled with bouts of aggressive physical symptoms, including convulsions.
We were able to track down my husband’s Christian Science teacher, who was still at her branch church in another state, and she dropped everything to spend time on the phone with us. I had the chance to repeat “the scientific statement of being” once again, as the three of us said it together on the phone. I remember finding the message so strengthening, but I also remember gritting my teeth while I said the words, trying desperately to feel the strength of God, right then.
I had difficulty retaining consciousness and found it helpful to focus on a spot on the ceiling. Thoughts of passing on came to me, and at times I thought I was passing on. The practitioner lovingly and firmly refuted this suggestion, which broke some of the mesmerism right there.
As the symptoms began to lessen, I suddenly remembered someone whom I had seen recently whose husband was taking care of her, as it appeared she could not care for herself. I realized that I had taken this picture into thought and had been rehearsing it during this whole experience.
When I verbalized this, the practitioner told me that I had taken the wrong model, the wrong image, into thought. She reminded me of what Science and Health says: “We must form perfect models in thought and look at them continually, or we shall never carve them out in grand and noble lives” (p. 248).
Right then I began to change that model in thought, replacing it with the true model of man, as God’s perfect image and likeness. I really felt this at a very deep level, feeling watched over and cared for.
We had hung up the phone, but a short time later the challenge returned, and we had to call the practitioner a second time. The thought came again: This is it—my life is over. But I remembered that God had a plan for me that didn’t include illness, incapacity, or death.
The practitioner, my husband, and I repeated the first verse of “Mother’s Evening Prayer” over and over, which includes the line “Keep Thou my child on upward wing tonight” (Mary Baker Eddy, Christian Science Hymnal, No. 207). I found it so comforting, and I concentrated on these words with my whole being.
I knew that something had changed within me, both physically and mentally, and my husband and I wept tears of gratitude. All fear—along with the symptoms—left, and that evening was the most normal and wonderful of evenings. I was healed.
The next day my husband very kindly stayed home from work to be with me, as we continued to pray. When he went back to work the second day, all traces of fear at being alone disappeared when I held to the perfect model—that perfect image—of God and man. Any time the fear tried to return, I would turn back to this powerful idea, until finally all fear of the difficulty disappeared. It has never returned.
I am so grateful for this healing, and I am again reminded that Jesus directs and guides us in our healing work. I learned an important lesson. Now when an aggressive suggestion presents itself, I do what Jesus did. I don’t wonder what’s going on. I don’t examine it. I just rely on God for healing!
Salem Massachusetts, US
