Have you ever felt sympathy for another person who was suffering, and then started to suffer yourself? Perhaps the individual was depressed, and you started to feel depressed, or this person was ill, and you started to feel ill? If so, it’s a symptom of what I call sympathetic suffering, which is any type of suffering taken on from seeing it in others and thinking of it as a reality. It’s not something to fear, but something that can be prevented through an understanding of God’s omnipresent love and care, which does not actually allow for suffering at all, let alone the transfer of suffering from one person to another.
I’ve learned the importance of defending myself from sympathizing with another’s suffering. Once when traveling with my wife to hike some national parks in the United States, on a very busy day of family activity, I developed a severe headache. In the past, this type of ailment would disappear quickly after prayer in which I acknowledged God’s allness and goodness. But in this case the pain was not budging. I felt ill, and my misery increased through a very restless night.
Struggling to muster enough composure the next morning to clean the breakfast dishes, I fervently prayed for divine inspiration that would break the mesmerism of suffering I felt locked into.
I remembered a time in Mary Baker Eddy’s life when she was experimenting with different types of mental treatments for illness. This was before she discovered Christian Science. For a short period, she tried a method of mind-cure that made it feel as if suffering was transferred from the body of the patient to her body (see Robert Peel, Mary Baker Eddy: The Years of Discovery, pp. 184–185). She soon realized this was not how Christ Jesus healed, and she dropped that method. She began to see that sickness is not a reality that is moved from one mortal to another, but an error of the human mind to be cast out with Christ, Truth. As soon as her learning experience came to my attention, my headache, nausea, and pain instantly ceased, and an awesome joy, buoyancy, and happiness took over. The quick relief took me by surprise and left me wondering what the connection was between recalling Mrs. Eddy’s experience and the instantaneous cure.
As I prayed to understand the reason for my healing, I saw that I had been ignorantly indulging in sympathetic suffering. I am a Christian Science practitioner, and while on this trip I was sometimes taking calls for prayerful help from patients, which was fine because I’d set aside sufficient time to help each caller. But there had been many calls the day before the headache began, and the descriptions of suffering from several of the patients had felt distressing. My clear grip on God’s perfect man had slipped, and I’d allowed a feeling of burden to creep in. My thought was more on the side of, “There are so many people with so many problems.” Without realizing it, I’d let the suffering I saw in others become my own.
Mrs. Eddy counseled, “One should never hold in mind the thought of disease, but should efface from thought all forms and types of disease, both for one’s own sake and for that of the patient” (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 396). As a car driver must keep the windshield of his vehicle clean so he can see to drive safely, we must keep our mental view of God’s perfect man clear to maintain good health and to help others realize their innate health and wholeness.
When I was in pain and recounted Mrs. Eddy’s experience, I realized that I had accepted the patients’ suffering as real, and then started to manifest the same belief—that suffering is real. From my study of Christian Science, I knew this was the wrong view to hold. In Truth, disease is unreal, and is to be strongly rejected, never agreed with. Realizing the error in my logic, I rejected that my suffering was real, and I was cured.
Looking back, I was able to see the suffering as unreal because I understood that divine Mind alone governs man, not mortal beliefs and fears coming from others. Mrs. Eddy further wrote, “You will also learn that in Science there is no transfer of evil suggestions from one mortal to another, for there is but one Mind, and this ever-present omnipotent Mind is reflected by man and governs the entire universe” (Science and Health, p. 496). In my moment of instantaneous realization, I accepted the supremacy of divine Mind in my life.
Regardless of how many people told me they were sick or what the images of suffering were, the truth about God’s man had never changed. The purpose of prayer, in Christian Science, is to see the truth about God’s man and know that it is true about every man, woman, and child. I needed to understand that my patients and I were not mortals prone to suffering. As children of God, we were immortals capable of only health and harmony. Seeing this truth more clearly lifted the feeling of being burdened by images of people suffering. I saw that suffering was no more true for them than for me. My health was restored, and my prayers brought healing to my patients, too.
The wiser way is to keep one’s feet firmly planted on the riverbank of spiritual truth, and then reach out to clasp the hand of the one in need.
Since this experience, I’ve been more watchful to have the right kind of sympathy for those in need. It’s normal and natural for a person who cares to be tender and kind, and the sight of a suffering person often brings out a desire to be supportive. And yet comments that people often make, such as, “You poor suffering soul,” or, “You really have an awfully tough life,” can have the effect of reinforcing a person’s suffering, rather than alleviating it.
Being impressed with another’s suffering, and then trying to help on the basis that this suffering is real, can be like seeing another sinking in quicksand and then jumping in to help. Both sink together. The wiser way is to keep one’s feet firmly planted on the riverbank of spiritual truth, knowing God’s ever-present care, and then reach out to clasp the hand of the one in need and pull him to safety through an understanding of how God is helping.
Science and Health counsels, “Sympathy with error should disappear” (p. 211). By understanding man’s individuality made in the likeness of the Divine as forever healthy and well, we can prevent the sympathy with suffering that pulls us down, and we can also become a help to those in need, rather than reinforcing a feeling of suffering and helplessness.
A useful model for sympathy that heals is found in the story of the good Samaritan in the Bible. The traveling Samaritan sees a man beaten and abused, left for dead, in his path. The sight of suffering surely must have pulled at the Samaritan’s heart, but it did not leave him feeling helpless to do anything. He got off his donkey, went to the man, and helped him. His desire to make a positive difference translated into Christly action that aided the individual out of his plight.
Christian Science gives us spiritual tools to help others out of trouble. When reports of suffering come from friends or family members, the news, or social media, we can pray to help the afflicted. We don’t have to be mental sponges soaking in all the depressing and dark details. We can replace descriptions of suffering with spiritual reality—with an understanding of God’s man made in the divine likeness, healthy and well. Our prayers will benefit anyone we pray for, whether they live at home or thousands of miles away.
If we have any type of caregiving role, such as caring for children, the elderly, the sick, the homeless, or those who are mentally disoriented, we can help by staying metaphysically clear that God’s man is spiritual, endowed with eternal health, and capable of expressing only that which comes from God. We can be more than sideline observers that feel mere pity for others in distress. We can take a proactive role in dissolving oppression with an understanding of spiritual truth that lifts thought to health and healing.
As Christian Science teaches, we live in the realm of divine Mind, where God is All and man reflects His presence. God did not create mortals subject to suffering. God created us immortal, ever abounding in harmony and peace. Science and Health explains, “The transfer of the thoughts of one erring mind to another, Science renders impossible” (p. 211). We do not have to suffer when we see others suffer. It’s not necessary. What is necessary is staying spiritually minded, remembering the omnipresence of the one Mind, and blessing our neighbor with spiritual truth that inspires their thought, forwards healing for them, and keeps us healthy too. In this way, sympathetic suffering is prevented, and everyone benefits.
