It all began as a subtle dissatisfaction, an apathetic approach, a lethargic lack of motivation. I began to wonder what the point was to my daily study of Christian Science. It had begun to drag, and it felt as if I was just going through the motions. My heart wasn’t really in it anymore, and this apathy carried over into many of my Christian Science-related activities, such as church attendance, study of the weekly Bible Lesson from the Christian Science Quarterly, and reading the periodicals published by The Christian Science Publishing Society. I really wanted to know the deeper meaning, importance, and purpose of this daily work. This desire rose up in me and became my prayer.
One day I opened the Manual of The Mother Church by Mary Baker Eddy and read the section entitled “Alertness to Duty”: “It shall be the duty of every member of this Church to defend himself daily against aggressive mental suggestion, and not be made to forget nor to neglect his duty to God, to his Leader, and to mankind. By his works he shall be judged,—and justified or condemned” (p. 42). What particularly stood out to me were the words “not be made to forget nor to neglect his duty to God, to his Leader, and to mankind.”
Although I knew this passage by heart and had prayed with it, I realized I had never thought deeply about the spiritual import of my duty. I felt I could do better, be more faithful and consecrated to the work. I prayed for a deeper understanding of what my duty was and how to fulfill it.