To help lift some struggling one out of darkness into light, I want to tell you how I found the dear Christ, Truth. From my earliest recollections I was a sufferer, and at the age of ten became a cripple. Born and brought up within the pale of the church, and as the daughter of a clergyman, I became the child of many prayers; but there seemed to be something lacking. When bound to a bed of pain, I rebelled, then I prayed. God seemed so far from me. My heart was reaching out for something, I knew not what. I plead with God for my freedom, but He didn't seem to hear me. When the suffering was greater almost than I could bear, I would ask my mother to put her face close to mine, and see if God would hear her. With her tears upon my face, she would ask God to help her little girl to be patient and trustful. I believed implicitly in my mother, and her trust would quiet me. But, surely something was wrong. Weeks slipped into months, and months into years; and my faith slipped away, too.
Nearly four years ago my doctor told me I would probably never walk again without crutches, and it might be but a few months before my limb would have to be taken off. Then unconsciously, my heart cried out God help me. The next day a letter came from an invalid friend, telling me that, as a last resort, she had given up doctors and medicines, and had consented to try Christian Science.; that she was really getting better, and wished I would try it. When I learned, a few days later, that a Scientist had just come to the city, I soon called on her. I told her of my condition, also that I did not believe in anything. I didn't decide to take treatments then, but somehow I went home feeling strangely quiet. I called on the lady two or three times, but she did not seem to want the case; still, I felt better each time I went to her. I felt rested. There was certainly a something pure and holy almost within my reach. My heart was crying out for peace; I didn't know how to find it. I almost "touched the hem of his garment." I could not rid myself of the feeling of awe. I had fed on husks all my life. What was there in this new faith that haunted me so day and night? My hungry heart sent out such an intense cry for this new idea, I began to investigate it. When I found it meant absolute purity of thought, and the Christ living, and that Truth is no respecter of persons, I knew I had found for myself the "pearl of great price." At whatever cost, I must have it. After struggling through the wilderness of doubts and fears, the Infinite Love led me back to the lady whose presence rested me. One year ago she taught me, with my husband, the beautiful Science, as it is in the Bible and Science and Health. In the first two lessons I saw the heavens open; I saw such wonderful Love; I saw Principle, strong and unswerving; I saw what I had been crying out for all my life; I saw freedom, rest, peace. But I saw, too, that to follow Christ, meant trial, persecution, Gethsemane, crucifixion; then, if faithful, the glory of the resurrection. Could I accept it all? I must, for I had so long served the world. What had I gained? Only a harvest of weeds. I did want "Christ, and him crucified!" I let the light into my heart; then I shut myself away from the world, took Science and Health and all the articles written by its author, and read nothing else. I found the sweet Spirit of Truth, and I found rest. I was taught how to handle the serpent, and how to strive to be pure in heart.
After a while the Church thought came to me, and with it the strong desire for action. Never before had I felt a nearness to the church. But in Christian Science I learned that Christ's church is in each heart, and that we unite with this Church only as we are "new born of Spirit." I knew this meant that I must put on the "robe of righteousness." Could I wear this robe? Only on one condition would Truth clothe me with this spotless garment: "Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." Science teaches us that the child is God's pure idea, not yet filled with theories, creeds, and doctrines. The child-thought is the white purity; the humility that takes us to the feet of Love to be taught the grand theology of Christ; the utter ignorance of every thing that "defileth or maketh a lie." Am I fit to come to the child to be led to Truth? Our great Leader said "Whosoever will." I think He meant me, for when I was willing to lay down all that I loved and cherished, all ambition, all human will, such a rich blessing came to me! a peace that the world knows not of. In this church and child-thought, the physical healing came. It was not only the newness of Spirit, but with it came the renewing of the body. To-day I am a strong woman, physically, and my heart is light with joy and gladness. Science and Health, p. 286.
