FROM my earliest remembrance I was looking for Love that would last, Love that was perpetual; the same yesterday, to-day, and forever. I felt sure there was such, and I must find it. Like the shepherds of old, I caught a gleam of the light of Love, and was being led to where the "young child lay," for already the rediscovery of the Gospel of "peace on earth, good will toward man," was being proclaimed on our continent. Like the shepherds, I first looked to matter, mortal mind, to reveal the object of my search. For several years I sought it among playmates; these proved false, and by the time we were beginning to drift apart, I clearly saw that the Love for which I was looking was not to be found there.
At eleven years of age I united with the church; desiring to live right, and do as the Bible taught. The passages of Scripture where it would read, "Love thy neighbor as thyself," Love your enemies," "Love is the fulfilling of the law," and similar passages, seemed larger print than all the rest of my Bible; and there, above all other places, I loved to read. Was it possible that I was to be disappointed in not seeing these Scriptural passages fulfilled, among the members of a church? Even so. There would often arise hard feelings which would last for weeks, and months, yes, and I have seen them last for years. My church was very dear to me, and in it I was brought under the thought that all there was to be known of the Bible teachings, was to be found in the church. To find the whole Truth aside from creeds, and out of the church, was not dreamed of. I was not satisfied with what I had been taught; it was empty.
The members did not live Jesus' teachings; they did not love their neighbor as themselves. This was plain to be seen. Still, for a long time, I searched among the people for Love, till at last I gave up all hope, and turned from mankind, and began looking among the animals,—sheep, cattle and horses. Surely it would be found here; but the stay among them was not long, for soon they were found selfish and unkind among themselves, acting just like the people. These failing me, I became more in earnest, for there was with me a sweet and certain sense of a perpetual joy and peace that was almost within my reach, and I must have it. I hungered for it. Then the thought came, "You have forgotten to look to the birds." The birds are happy all day long. If God created the birds, (I had been taught that He created all matter) they would surely reflect the Love He would have us live. With hope I began watching the birds. No words can express the bitter disappointment I felt, when shortly after, I happened to see two little birds fighting. I felt rooted to the spot where I stood. Where could I look next? Was the search to be given up? No; although it could be found nowhere in matter, I felt that unchanging, undying Love was for us, and that we could live it now.
