Ten years ago I greeted the awakening of nature to new life with a never-before-experienced feeling, for in my own consciousness a new life had appeared,—a life so full of joy and gratitude that my heart might well vie with the birds of spring in songs of praise to God, who had so recently been revealed to me. That which to my childhood's questioning had been presented as God, had grown more and more repellant, in proportion as I realized the heartrending discord which penetrated every state and condition of this sense-world, from man down to the tiniest animal, and even in the so-called forces of nature, until at an early age, in the bitterness of my heart, I deliberately rejected and defied Him, choosing rather to stand as "having no hope, and without God in the world." Nay, not without hope, for all the while a voice within was urging that there was a truth somewhere, which could justify God, solve the weary riddle, and satisfy the heart. Many and tearful were my prayers, during that long night, to "the unknown God" who I felt must be. Beset with doubts and fears, and well-nigh desperate, my search in the works of the world's great religious and philosophic teachers brought me an occasional crumb to strengthen my purpose to seek farther, but never a theory which could give satisfactory excuse for the world's misery, or even for the agony of a single innocent life. I would not summon again the dark shadows of that experience, except by way of contrast, and even then none could ever know what it meant who had not themselves passed through it. Is physical disease and torment heavy to bear? yet to feel the despair of a world and know no solace is greater agony. Now, when I look back, and think that while my prayers were rising so far away in a distant country,—prayers for light, and for truth at whatever price,—there was one in this land of freedom who had found the truth, whose brave arm was lifting high the torch of Christian Science and gathering around her an ever-growing throng of those who, like myself, had been suffering, rebelling, searching, and praying, then I realize that it was the world-encircling Love divine, pouring through that consciousness, which thus found its way to my fainting sense. It was none other than her self-forgetful prayers for the world which led me all the way, though I knew it not, until I came, even across the deep sea, to the very spot where this truth was to be found. Only three months after I had put my foot on this continent, and at Christmas time, that wondrous book, Science and Health, was handed to me,—a convincing plea for the equity of God,—and my heart bore witness, for it arose jubilant to hail the good tidings. Here at last was a logic without a flaw; "reason and revelation were reconciled" (Science and Health, p. 110), and before my rapt sense stood God,—a God indeed, above reproach,—and a world worthy of His workmanship.
The peace of mind which has come to me through this revelation,—the heart to live and to work for the spreading of this gospel, to help others who are struggling in the darkness; the joy, the health, the power to do all that is worth while,—I owe to her who sought and found the Life "that maketh all things new." To her personally I can return nothing, nor has she need of aught, for God gives to His beloved abundance of all good; but I am constrained by that Love which reached and lifted me out of darkness, to strive to emulate her example, and in gratitude and obedience to learn more of God, who through her achievement has been revealed as infinite, ever-present Life, Truth, and Love.— North Easton, Mass.
