Five years ago I heard for the first time of Christian Science. At that time no words more fittingly describe my condition than these, "Having no hope, and without God in the world." Mine is too long a story to tell in detail. Suffice it to say that a sickly childhood had induced in me a very irritable disposition; the drugs I had taken for various ailments had seemed to disturb my system and there was a tendency to melancholy which was fast developing into a serious form. From early womanhood I had been a church member, and many and earnest were the talks I had with my pastor. I was told that I must not murmur at God's providence, and assured that He knew what was best for me,—that if I were strong and well I might perhaps think less of my religious life. There were times when I spent hours begging God to give me rest from the troublesome thoughts that I could in no way shake off; at other times, with bitter tears I prayed for relief from agonizing pain; but I felt that my prayers were uttered in vain, for I never saw any results. Finally I formed an awful concept of God. He seemed to me a stern, harsh judge, who knew no mercy and rather delighted in the sufferings of His children. The gentle, loving Christ was my only hope, and I struggled on, hoping that Christ would in some way appease God and get Him to show me some mercy. The fear that possessed me was like a strong chain, —struggle as I would, there was no means of escape.
For four years prior to my healing there was not a single night spent in anything approaching comfort. I was known as a very nervous, disagreeable, queer woman, but if others could only have looked beneath the exterior they would have pitied instead of condemning me. After my marriage, conditions began to look serious, and for four years life was a burden. I sometimes wonder at the patience of those who lived nearest me. During this time I had medical treatment from three physicians, no two of them agreeing as to the nature of my ailments. One of these doctors, an earnest, ambitious young man, wanted very much to cure me. When he had personally done all he could, he laid my case before a medical convention in North Carolina, hoping in this way to arrive at a more positive diagnosis; but it was the same old story. When my doctor came home he assumed a cheerfulness that he hoped would be contagious, and told me he was going to cure me quickly. He then gave me a drug that I felt was the greatest boon of my life, and night after night I thanked God for having, as I thought, answered my prayers. I took this drug daily for five months. Then it was discontinued, and if I had been wretched before, I was now in a terrible condition. Chloroform was kept at hand for emergencies, and used in large quantities.
Such was my condition when Christian Science entered our home. I had absent treatment, and had been well for more than a year before I ever saw a Christian Scientist. There were many struggles before I was ready to accept the truth in God's way, but the fact of my healing always stood in the way when I wanted to resist Truth. Through her understanding of God's law a Christian Scientist had healed me, and there was no getting around that fact. Under God's providence I was led to Wilmington, N. C, where a few faithful workers were just beginning as a society, and I soon saw that in accepting Christian Science I should not have to lay aside any of the essentials of my religion; indeed I found that instead of losing anything. I was gaining untold treasures. I thank God daily that He has sent to us our beloved Leader, Mrs. Eddy, and that I am among the fortunate ones permitted to hear her voice and accept her message.— Wilmington, N. C.
