I would like to express my gratitude for Christian Science. When I first tried it, I was alone in Philadelphia, discouraged and miserable, but my strong desire was to know the truth. I knew there was something in Christianity, for I had felt its comforting, uplifting power, and I sought in various denominational churches for an explanation of the power, but none could answer my questioning. I then sought an explanation in the Bible, but could see only mystery and confusion. Even St. Paul's writings were foolishness to me; so I turned to nature, looking into its deepest parts, for I loved its wildest glens, and could watch for hours its strange and beautiful phenomena. I knew where to find its choicest objects, but when I tried to find God my heart sank within me. I could see no God anywhere, as evil seemed to me to overpower good at every turn; so I sank deep into atheism. I did not want to be an infidel, but I could see nothing else to do. The awful hopelessness and despair of such a belief settled on me ; the more I studied, the deeper seemed the gloom and melancholy, till it was almost unbearable. How I prayed that if there was a God He would speak to me; but no answer seemed to come. I was fast becoming a prey to sin, which was undermining both health and manhood, and although I tried to give it up. I could not.
One Sunday morning I stepped into the Christian Science church, just to hear their views. They were busy with the . Lesson-Sermon, and when I heard the words from the Christian Science text-book I was spellbound. I had never heard anything so beautiful before; it was peace to my troubled mind, and I thought there might be a chance for me yet to be lifted out of my misery. I attended the Wednesday evening meeting, and was again surprised when I heard that what they believed could be proven. I decided to study this religion, so I got a copy of the textbook, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mrs. Eddy, and read it with tears streaming down my cheeks. I had at last found an explanation of God which appealed to me; again I felt this comforting, uplifting power, but this time with an understanding which could not be lost. God was not millions of miles away, but ever-present Mind, and this Mind was Love, so near to me that He was my very Life. Now I could understand the meaning of St. John's saying, "God is love;" now I felt safe, and that dreadful fear of falling away from Truth, back into sin, was gone. I was no longer an infidel,—I had learned that nothing can exist without Mind, God. As I commenced to view nature from a new standpoint, and not to accept the mere evidence of the senses, my gratitude was unbounded, I felt I was in a new world.
This was over seven years ago, and the way grows brighter as I learn more of this wonderful book, Science and Health, which teaches us how to demonstrate the presence of God and His perfect creation and government. This understanding brought to me a sense of purity I had not known since childhood, and in the place of melancholy and despair there came a sense of happiness and peace which was wonderful. It also lifted me out of the dreadful fear I once had of disease and danger. I thank God for guiding me into this truth, and my daily prayer is that I may be faithful to its teachings. I am also grateful to our dear Leader, Mrs. Eddy, who has given me the God I had hoped for in my childhood; also the Bible, which I now love to study. In this new light it has answered all my questions.
