I LEFT England for California over fifteen years ago. Even then, though only about twenty-one years old, I had a slight touch of the liquor habit, and this habit grew upon me rapidly, so much so that my people in England heard of the life I was leading. I prayed and struggled against the ever-increasing desire for liquor, till at last I gave up prayer, because it seemed like blasphemy, as each time I fell lower than before. But, intuitively, I knew and always had known that prayer was my one and only help and opportunity of ever being healed. Once, in the depth of my misery, when I was alone, trying to know myself and wondering why I still cared to live, a voice, as it seemed to me, told me to go on trying and always do my best, and that some day I should be free; but I did not then understand what freedom meant, as I do now.
In November, 1906, I went to a sanitarium, my reason for going being to satisfy my mother and brother, who kept writing and begging me to try any treatment, and my friends around here did the same. I was very doubtful of being healed, but it seemed to be worth the trial, and I felt I had to wake up and do something for myself. Several people told me that if I continued the drinking, I would shortly pass away, and I said I was glad to hear it. The head physician was very kind to me, and told me that he could help me by giving me the opportunity to live a pure and healthy life, etc.
After I had been there about eight months, one of my best and dearest friends asked me whether I had ever heard anything about Christian Science, and I said, "Oh, I suppose it is some nonsense or other." I knew absolutely nothing about it, not even enough to be prejudiced against it, but I now thank God for the courage that true women possess. Six months later (in February, 1908) my friend asked me whether I would not like to know something about Christian Science, as she knew that I was not healed, —in fact, the desire for liquor was returning,—and that it was my intention to leave the sanitarium in a month or two. She very kindly loaned me a copy of the Sentinel, and before I had read half a page I knew it was the truth. I at once wrote to a friend who lives in San Francisco, and asked her to send me a copy of "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mrs. Eddy, and I shall never forget the evening I received the hook. I took it to my room and locked the door, and for a minute stood with it in my hand: I trembled so that I could hardly stand, for I knew by intuition that this meant the beginning of a new life for me. It seemed impossible for me to begin at the beginning of the book—my thirst and hunger for the truth was so intense that I read the parts which interested me the most.
