Twenty years ago, by a strange providence, I came into possession of a copy of "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mrs. Eddy. Beyond this I had no knowledge of Christian Science or Scientists, but I had wearied of my church, and the heaven it offered filled me with uncontrollable fear. Even its hell gave me more solace, for there I felt I should meet most of my friends. I rebelled because I had not been permitted to live in Jesus' time, and grudged Mary and Martha that privilege. I felt that in the management of the universe God was making a dreadful mistake, for evil to me seemed more powerful than good. A new world opened to me, however, as I read the pages of Science and Health and learned that every wrong thought brings its harvest of wo; that my thoughts were all wrong, and herein lay the secret of my discordant conditions. I learned how I had misjudged God, and that the object of prayer was not to teach God how to do His work properly, but to dispel the sense-illusion,—the Adam-dream which seemed to prevent me from knowing that even now God's gift to man is unfailing good, and to reconcile me to God in the consciousness that I could never in reality be separate from Him or nearer to Him.
In the copy of Science and Health which I possessed (the forty-eighth edition) was an account of a case of painless childbirth which Mrs. Eddy herself had attended, a demonstration which, to my new-born understanding of Christian Science, seemed marvelous. My own experiences had been so terrible that I was filled with dread when, soon after this, I became conscious that I again had to face an accouchement. I felt that I must now test this wonderful truth, but error seemed to defy me to attempt so great a demonstration as the breaking down of the mortal law which condemns woman to bring forth her children in pain and sorrow. Torn by fear, yet praying to be led aright, a divine inspiration came to me in the words of Christ Jesus, "O ye of little faith;" "Lo, I am with you alway." I knew then of the ever-present Christ, and no longer grudged Mary or Martha a single joy. I doubt if any studied the Bible and Science and Health more than did I during those months. Often I craved for some one to enlighten my understanding, but I was ever brought back to a consciousness of the divine presence, and when the sense of loneliness seemed to overwhelm me, the story of our Master's last hours in Gethsemane became an inspiration.
Daily I saw more clearly the fallacy of man-made laws, the unreality of matter, and the perfection of the divine concept. When the time of the ordeal came, every discordant human law was annulled, and the birth was painless. I had no fear whatever, although the assistance I sent for had not arrived when the birth took place. None can know what radiant joy was mine that day, nor can I ever forget it. Through the intervening years, when sense clouds have seemed to engulf me, it has been a beacon-light to me, leading me on to "radical reliance on Truth" (Science and Health, p. 167). Since then, in all our pains and distresses, the "great Physician" has been our only healer, and in our home drugs have been unknown. Christian Science is no longer unknown in this beautiful land, for now are sprinkled all over it loyal students of Christian Science. All around me I see sin and disease disappearing through the understanding of Truth, and very soon we shall have a lecture from one of those sent out by The Mother Church. May I here express my gratitude for Christian Science literature sent to our field by unknown friends in America.
