When Christian Science found me I was dwelling in the darkness of unbelief. For many years I felt forced to take the agnostic position through honest conviction, the problem of evil seeming impossible of solution when associated with the belief in a beneficent creator. In this frame of mind I became interested in the teachings of Christian Science through a desire to help a friend who was turning to it for release.
Soon after I had begun to read Science and Health, my eyes were opened to see that I was in a condition of egotism and pride of intellect which debarred me from any realization of spiritual truth. I had worshiped the reasoning of the human (or carnal) mind as the highest God I knew, and this mind, St. Paul says, is "enmity against God." Very unwillingly I gradually came to see that what I most needed (and least desired) was humility, and that until I could lay down a sense of superior mental judgment, I could hope for no understanding of the things of Spirit. The purification which followed this uncovering, helped me greatly; gradually the light came, and I turned to the long neglected Bible and read with overflowing heart, "Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein."
Many have been the blessings I have realized since then; the whole course of my life has been changed. Consciousness of ever-present good is taking the place of that of evil; fear is being overcome; motives are being purified; health, happiness, and peace have come in abundant measure. Mental awakening was gradually followed by physical release. Headaches, rheumatism, and a general lack of endurance have all disappeared. Sleeplessness of many years' standing has been completely overcome, and this was perhaps the greatest physical release. I had tried all the usual material remedies, including medicines, diet, rest-cure, and climate,—the South and then the North,—at one time spending four months in our northern Muskoka lakes in the depth of winter, and afterward building a room supposed to be sound-proof in our house.
Christian Science has shown me why all of these remedies, so faithfully and honestly applied, failed to cure the condition. It was because they were applied to the outward manifestation while the real cause lay within, and with the gradual overcoming of thoughts of fear, self-pity, irritability, and impatience, came rest and peace. For over two years I have slept well and easily, and if for any reason it seems necessary for me to sleep during the daytime, the usual noises of the house no longer disturb me, nor do I require a darkened room. I can honestly say this trouble is destroyed. For years I had the constant advice of the best surgeons and doctors at home and abroad, and while I am glad to bear testimony to their earnest and patient efforts to help me, I can only say I never found real health and strength until I learned the way in Christian Science. While the blessing of health is very great, it is the least valuable of the joys that have come through even a slight understanding of the truth. The spiritual enlightenment is more precious than could be told, and it is my desire always to remember the words of our Leader: "Gratitude is much more than a verbal expression of thanks. Action expresses more gratitude than speech" (Science and Health, p. 3).
Perhaps only one who has tried living away from the Father can understand what the joy of home-coming means. This joy was increased as I learned in Christian Science that the sojourn in the "far country" was, after all, only a dream, from which I awakened to know that the Father's love had been overshadowing me through all the seeming absence, and with the new illumination of the Bible, I knew with St. Paul, that "neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God."
I am quite well and have been for some length of time. One of the difficulties returned, but this has been again overcome. I believe the healing is now on a permanent basis, more especially as the second overcoming came as a direct result of obedience to truth and without the aid of any one else.
Can we ever fully estimate the grandeur and magnitude of the gift our revered Leader has brought to us, that has made it possible for each and all to find their way to the Father's house, no matter how far a country one may seem to have traversed in this mortal dream of living! — Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
