In the summer of 1902 I first read the Christian Science textbook, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mrs. Eddy. I felt the truth of its statements and, not for any physical healing but for a clearer understanding of Truth, often sought a practitioner. I tried to make practical application of the truths I learned in Christian Science and thereby grew more efficient in my daily work,—that of school teaching. In about a year's time I was placed in a higher position where the salary was larger and the work more difficult. At this point instead of being grateful to Principle and pressing on with greater humility and renewed reliance on the divine Mind, I heeded the subtle suggestions of mortal mind. "I have done this thing," it argued. I was mesmerized by it, and with thoughts of conceit and arrogance were also planted seeds of fear, worry, and discouragement. The new work loomed larger and impossible before my mental horizon. I sought a practitioner, but the mist of mortal mind was so thick that I could not see the light. My health began to fail and I was finally forced to give up my work.
None of my people were interested in Christian Science, and husband, brother, sister, and mother said, "It is impossible to demonstrate this Christian Science; you have tried it and found it so; now have nothing more to do with it." Again I listened to the arguments of mortal mind. My husband put me under the care of materia medica, and for ten years I wandered in the wilderness of mortal belief, feeling all the pangs of hell as defined by Mrs. Eddy in our textbook. The seeds of truth that had been sown, however, were not lost, and slowly, very slowly, the mist began to melt away. Alone I would turn to my textbook and find comfort.
In the spring of 1913 I said, "I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son." And while I was yet a great way off, the Father saw me and had compassion on me. With thankfulness for the lesson that the experience had taught me I turned to the Bible and Mrs. Eddy's works, with the absolute conviction that they were inspired and that the healing of the Christ was again practiced by those who understood the truth as explained in the textbook. Not long after this I joined a Christian Science branch church, and later The Mother Church. In January, 1917, I went for the first time to a Wednesday evening meeting in The Mother Church. The following day I visited both the extension and the original Mother Church. As I sat in the smaller building, the original Mother Church, studying the beautiful stained glass windows and meditating on their meaning, I felt a renewed consecration to God and a deeper gratitude to our revered Leader for all she has done for mankind. Those years of suffering and remorse seemed to fall away and to be no longer part of my life, and I felt as never before that God is Life and that man is His reflection.
