IT was evening in Jerusalem. A group of men had gathered gravely in an upper room, where they had prepared to eat the Passover, and at the close of the meal they sat listening, perhaps a little uncomprehendingly, to the words of their Master. Already heavy-laden with a sense of impending separation from their Teacher, the disciples were amazed at Jesus' unexpected announcement, "Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me." What a stricken silence must have followed! A traitor, a disloyal student, among them! The disciples, grieved beyond measure, asked, "Lord, is it I?" And likewise did Judas ask, "Master, is it I?"
The disciples had yet to undergo the severest test of their careers, namely, the test of loyalty to the Christ, under the fire of stinging accusations, bitter ridicule, and terrible persecutions, and to do it without the quiet, comforting presence of their Teacher. Perhaps on that occasion, known as the last supper, they glimpsed what it would mean to stand resolutely as Christians. Perhaps they more seriously considered the question of loyalty to the revolutionary doctrine of their Master, although they were quick to defend the personal Jesus. Had they not adhered to him stanchly? Had they not turned from their material pursuits to follow him? No wonder they asked in bewilderment, "Lord, is it I?" But Love is faithful, and soon was to teach them the real meaning of loyalty, just as it is teaching us as Christian Scientists today that the demonstration of our religion depends solely upon our implicit and unquestioning fidelity to the spiritual truths contained in the Bible and the Christian Science textbook.
Discord in our own lives is generally an index that we are not living up to our highest understanding of God; that we have allowed our faithfulness to waver. Then, instead of doubting God, it is far more efficacious to investigate the measure of our own loyalty to Principle. In the seeming presence of discord, it is enlightening to stop quietly and ask, "Lord, is it I?" even though, like the disciples, we may think we have done everything within our power to be faithful at all points. When we have failed to make a demonstration and cannot see the reason why, let us ask this question humbly. Almost invariably the answer will be "Yes," because somewhere in our consciousness there lurks a thought or concept posing, perhaps, as innocent and right, though it is far from the Christianly scientific standard of right.
