In II Timothy (2:13) we read, "If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself." I have experienced the truth of this statement. In my youth I was always extremely nervous. When I was twenty I became a teacher in a public school. My task was not easy, and I was very often overworked. I was the eldest of a large family, and we all knew that we had to earn our own livelihood. At last, however, I was utterly exhausted and was taken to a sanatorium. After a rest of half a year I went to school again. I liked my work very much, but then there came a great change.
The authorities wanted coeducation. Till that time I had taught only girls, and now I was moved with my girls to a school where till then only boys had been. I was afraid of the boys, who were very often taller than I, and they did not like to be taught by a woman. So there were difficulties every day. . At last I could not stand it any longer. I felt quite miserable and ill, and went to bed. My heart was very weak, and a doctor who treated me told me that I should never be able to go to school again or ride on my bicycle any more. Then a friend, who was not a Christian Scientist herself, advised me to try Science. I consented, and she asked a practitioner to come to me. The practitioner talked to me, but she realized that it was not my earnest desire to be helped in Science, and she went away. At last I felt so miserable that I asked her for help myself, which was most lovingly given. I became much stronger. I studied Christian Science thoroughly, as I was accustomed to study. Although I did not imbibe much of the spirit, I was healed, and after I had been examined again by a doctor I returned to school. In 1924 I became a member of a branch church, and the help of a practitioner enabled me to carry on my work.
Not very long after that a relative of mine returned from the East Indies seriously ill, and stayed at our house. He passed on in spite of all we could do for him, and that was a terrible blow for me. I could think of nothing else, and finally was taken to a sanatorium once more. That was the darkest time of my life, for I drifted away from Science. I did not return to school again for a year and a half. My task was much easier, as the boys had grown accustomed to being taught by a woman. I enjoyed my work, and liked the boys, and worked with them until my retirement. After that I sought and found other work, so that my days were filled, for I still did not like to be left to my own thoughts. I was happy in a degree, but something was lacking—I had not yet returned to Science. That occurred quite unexpectedly. I shall never forget that day. It changed my whole outlook on life. I was still a member of our church, and still had all my books. I visited the practitioner and talked the matter over with her. She told me that I had had to learn humility. Since that day I have experienced many blessings.
