An unhappy childhood followed by a tragic marriage left me feeling godless, hopeless, homeless. My one treasure was my little daughter, but my superstitious fears for her made the rearing of her more painful than joyful.
Late one cold winter night I found myself walking in the streets searching fruitlessly for an answer. Stopping before a large church building I looked up and cried, "God, if You are God, show me."
Two days later, leaving the child in my mother's care, I found a position in a women's wear shop. The manageress, a mature, loving woman, discerning my troubled thought, was very gentle and considerate. In a very short time I learned that she was a Christian Scientist and heard from her that blessed statement, "Divine Love always has met and always will meet every human need" (Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy, p. 494).
In a few weeks I was deep in the textbook, Science and Health, was attending a branch Church of Christ, Scientist, and had enrolled my child in its Sunday School. This was the very church before which I had stood that night.
In three months this woman went on to another position, and I was managing the store, although I had had no previous experience. A little later my daughter and I were able to have a home of our own, and a capable woman cared for the child while I was working. God had indeed shown me the truth of Jesus' words (Luke 11:9), "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."
Some years later the child suddenly manifested a very high fever. I had completely given up materia medica for myself, but fear struck when for the first time I had to make the decision to rely on Science in her case. I called a practitioner, who said she would prayerfully work for her. A few hours later, seeing no change in the unconscious child, I was almost immobilized by fear. Calling the practitioner again, I could barely speak and sensing my fear, she told me that I must, and assured me that I could, overcome my fear.
I said that I would try. "But," I cried to myself, "how do I do it?" Here once again in my extremity I said, "You show me, Father."
In the deep comforting silence of that night I did truly loose the child from my fears, trusting her to the Father of all, and I was able to do so ever after. The next morning the fever was gone, and the second day, when I was helping her dress, we found that her clothes were over a size too large. She soon regained the lost weight.
The following years found me facing one problem after another and at the same time witnessing solutions that could not have occurred to me had it not been for Christian Science. Mrs. Eddy tells us (Science and Health, p. 10), "Prayer means that we desire to walk and will walk in the light so far as we receive it, even though with bleeding footsteps, and that waiting patiently on the Lord, we will leave our real desires to be rewarded by Him."
The red, swollen serpent of superstition, fears, and unwholesome characteristics fought mightily to hold on, but I knew that "the habitual struggle to be always good is unceasing prayer" (ibid., p. 4). Above all, a growing love for and appreciation of our Leader, an increasing understanding of the Christ message, and a deep gratitude for our Father-Mother's patient love at last placed my footsteps on the upward way.
I myself have had many healings. They have been mental, physical, and financial.
The Mother Church, the Manual of The Mother Church by Mrs. Eddy, the branch church of which I am a member, and the association meetings it is my privilege to attend evidence the rock upon which I stand.— Stamford, Connecticut.
